[FINISHED] a favor house atlantic -lily-

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

Dressed in all black, Severus Snape seemed to blend in with the shadows clinging to the corners of the empty corridor. A tall, lean, figure standing silently against the stone wall, some sort of dark apparition.

He did not seem relaxed, although he rarely ever was. His were arms crossed over his chest, dark gaze focused intently on the empty space in front of him, seeming to tense every time he heard something in the distance. He looked expectant, as though he was waiting for something.

Whether this something was bad or good was yet to be revealed, and his expression gave little away save for the slight crease of his eyebrows that could have meant several different things.

For once in his life he did not have a plan.

Severus shifted his weight a bit, willing some sort of semblance of courage in the face of what he knew was probably not going to end well for him.He was no coward, and there really was nothing left for him to loose anymore, but this was a thought that did very little in the way of comforting him.

She had made it perfectly clear that she had no intention of ever speaking to him again, so why was he here? Why was he only setting himself up for yet another disappointment, another reminder of his mistakes?

Because she had always been far too important, she had always meant more than him than he would ever want her to know. He had tried to be angry, had tried convincing himself that things were better this way, but in the end, throughout his entire miserable summer he had come to a very painful moment of clarity.

What was he without Lily? What was magic without Lily?

This moment of clarity had brought him here right now, at this very moment, waiting for her. She may never forgive him, but he didn't care, he needed her to believe that he was truly sorry for what had happened between them and that he could never think of her the way he was sure she believed he did. Even if they never spoke again, especially if they never spoke again, she needed to know that.

[lily]

"So I met this boy over holiday name Martin Jensenweed, and apparently he's from a very good wizarding family that works for the ministry, and he has this gorgeous brother and I was--Lily? Lily, hello?" That hand that waved in front of bright green eyes was enough to snap her out of Lily out of her thoughts as she looked up at her friend standing beside her as they walked along the ground level.

"Hmmm...what was that Mildred?"

"Are you alright? You've been spacey since the train ride here nearly days ago." Which was true, in fact most of the summer she'd spent quietly studying and reading, occasionally walking around town just thinking. Before summer had come she'd just felt so angry, and now...she wasn't sure anymore to tell the truth. "

Giving Mildred a smile she hopped a few steps ahead of her waving her off, "I'm fine. Just tired. Back to school, duties to attend to, studying...not easy you know?" She laughed turning the corner at the other kept going on straight, "I need to go to the library and pick up some books. I'll meet you up in the tower."

"Wait! What about Martin's brother? You want to go out to Hogsmeade then? And watch out...who knows if that Snape will try to talk to you again. Creepy git, can't believe they let him--"

"Mildred! Not right now okay? We can talk in the tower later. I need to hurry." Lily really didn't want to talk about Snape, or any boys for that matter. It seemed like they were just bound to frustrated her. Really avoiding spending time with Severus had been weird, no one to talk to as many of her muggle friends wouldn't understand she really did feel like the freak her sister often called her. Now back among all the others it was weird as they jabbered on about their great holidays. Hogwarts was good to be back to. At least here she was normal, people understood her.

Taking off her robe she slung it over her shoulder as she balanced her books on her hip walking down the corridor. Really the library wasn't her destination, she was just walking now to get some time to think, to breath away from the crush of the other students. Humming softly she began to relax as she tried to think through the list of charms work she'd have to do. Probably would use that as her excuse to get out of some weird double date...then she wanted to get in touch with the potions professor and see what she would need to start studying...

So many things to do, but it was better than talking about the past summer at all. Quickly she decided against just walking around the halls to catch up in her thoughts. Too great a risk of running into her friends, or someone more bothersome...like Potter and his buddies. Finding an empty classroom she slipped inside.

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

He would never have admitted it out load and was loathe to admit it even to himself, but seeing her heading towards him was a bit daunting, especially considered the way the had parted last year. A flare of anger rose up from inside of him, directed mainly at himself and a little at her, but he squashed that burgeoning though with a slight shake of his head and iron-clad determination of will.

Severus waited, watching her getting closer, not really sure if he was breathing correctly as he waited for her to realize he was there. It was a blessing and a curse when she turned into a classroom, apparently not having noticed him. Maybe she had and had ignored him, despite knowing that they were not talking the idea stung and he frowned, raising a hand to rub his temple. Severus sighed softly, leaning his head back against the stone wall to collect himself.

He wanted her to see he was being genuine and he wanted her to see the toll that this was taking on him, but it clashed horribly with his personality and the way he usually went through life. He was nothing without her friendship, yet at the same the idea of displaying his insecurities and admitting how pathetic he was turned his stomach. A frustrated and irritable expression crossed his features and his hand tightened into a fist.

Where was his Slytherin cunning now? Pushing off against the wall he shook his hand loose, and schooled his features into a somewhat calm before starting toward the doorway.

He was usually quite tactful, but unfortunately this situation was so completely beyond anything he had ever had any experience and therefore he did not know how to approach it delicately.

Perhaps it could not be dealt with delicacy, perhaps the gods were laughing at him. He scowled at nothing in particular and continued into the room.

"Had a good summer?" He asked quietly, watching her closely for her reaction to his sudden presence, he wasn't really trying to startle her, but he didn't think she would have willingly listened to him if he didn't catch her off-gaurd.

[lily]

It was a basic lecture hall room for some of the first years, a few scribbles of history were left up on the board as Lily passed the professor's desk.

In the year 1526 the Witch Maryweather the Gray discovered that a certain kind of toad secreated....

The great rebellion of the Broomstick Seven was quelled when such a potion using the toad created...

She didn't really care to read the rest, most of it first year history, the basics that she'd swallowed up so quickly. Her first year she'd spent so much time in the library, dragging poor Severus along whenever the mood hit her. Realizing where her thoughts had gone she gave a rather disgusted sigh before swiping a hand over the board only to watch as the little chalk words realigned themselves.

"Must of been important." She murmured as she set her books down on a nearby desk wiping a chalky hand on her skirt. This was her sixth year...she was older now, people looked up to her, she had friends, and soon she would be on her way doing whatever it was she wanted in a year. Everything she'd wanted was right there at her fingertips and yet trying to focus on it was like trying to look at an out of focus picture in hopes that the more you stared the more in focus it would get. It was worse when the it was one of the moving pictures that were out of focused, then it was just a massive moving blur.

She should have been happy, but...

"Had a good summer?"

Oh sweet Merlin's sock she'd hex the next person who tried to talk about her summer. She began to babble out one of her typical little summer stories about swimming and amusement parks, anything really to get people from digging to deep. Once she brought up Muggle amusements they usually got a blank stare on their face as if they were in Muggle Studies and not talking with her. However before she could say a thing she was looking at Severus Snape trying to figure out when he'd come in, or why he was talking to her.

"Sev...erus...Snape." At first habit kicked in as they were alone and she usually would use his nickname, but she had to remember she was mad at him. He'd called her a mudblood and now had the gall to just ask about her summer. So as habit kicked in she stopped and used the same manners she used for boys like Potter and Malfoy. "I don't know why you want to know about my summer Snape. I figure you had a good one with your new friends." Lily replied sharply as she started towards the door gathering her books in her hands.

"I only came to pick up some books. I should go..." Really there were no books to pick up, and she wasn't sure if he'd seen what books she'd already had, but either way she was content not making up the excuse to leave.

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

So maybe asking about her summer hadn't been the best of his ideas all things considered, but it hadn't been meant as anything other than a way to get her attention and not some ill intended barb.

Hearing her call him by his last name was yet another reminder of why exactly he was in this situation to begin with, but it was leagues better than having her call him 'snivellus' again. That hated nickname that had caught on thanks in part to Potter and Black and their oh-so-creative insults bothered him far more than he would ever admit to.

Then again after what he had called her, he was surprised she hadn't outright hexed him. "I need to talk to you." His voice remained level, but he felt a rising of panic as she started towards the doorway.

And then he was stepping in front of the doorway, blocking her path. "No one has even come near this classroom for almost an entire hour now and it looks to me as though you have all the books you need."

Severus cursed himself for letting it slip that he had actually been waiting here for her, like some sort spider in it's web. She, like everyone else, probably thought he was creepy now too.

[lily]

In the empty classroom the words on the board were still reconfiguring themselves into the notes she'd swiped away before. She was quiet now as she finished talking with Severus, hoping to make a clean getaway out the door before she'd probably break out into a dead run. This was not where she wanted to be right now, not the person she wanted to deal with...

Especially as he got in her way of escape. That had her stopping suddenly. It was then she realized how much taller Severus was then her as she looked up at him, surprised really. Had she just never noticed, or did he spring up like a weed this summer while they had been gone? Still she tried to focus.

He was talking, not about summer...no, about wanting to talk. She frowned and stepped a little further back. "You want to talk Sev- Snape? I thought I made it clear that we were done talking for good. I'm sure it wouldn't look good if your new friends saw you talking with me." She sniped, not feeling too kind about talking, "Or did they put you up to this?" She wasn't happy, it still stung to think about him digging at that wound she'd told him about before.

Having Petunia call her a freak was painful enough, having her own friend turn right around and use that name to cut at her. All she'd been doing was trying to help, and now...now...

"Move Snape I have to go--"

"No one has even come near this classroom for almost an entire hour now and it looks to me as though you have all the books you need."

Eyes went wide as she looked up at him before turning away. He'd caught her in the lie, and to top it off he'd been waiting for her, just there waiting even though she might not come that way. She couldn't help but wonder what was so important he would wait like this...

Sighing softly she shook her head slowly, "Snape I have Prefect duties to attend to." Side stepping a bit she started to go around him to the door.

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

He saw the wide-eyed look and inwardly cursed himself, automatically assuming his suspicions were confirmed. Frightening her had never been part of the plan, not that there had been a plan to begin with.

He had grown over the summer, but hadn't really noticed it until he was standing in relation to Lily. They usually always spent their summers together, unless the Evan's were off on holiday and even then they still had a good amount of time to spend wandering the neighborhood or finding things to keep them occupied at her house. Severus had always made it a mission of his to keep her as far away from Spinners End as possible. He was not keen on her seeing where he lived and there was that rather obvious necessity of keeping her away from Tobias, so despite the fact she had shown up there once or twice, he never invited her and she never questioned.

Since they hadn't seen each other since the previous year, he hadn't even noticed how tall he had gotten, though he had found that his clothes fit him oddly and he looked as though he needed a good meal.

It was strange to be looking down at her and he couldn't help but notice that she looked different as well, her face had thinned out a bit, making her look older and her hair looked as though she had cut it recently. But her eyes were still the same, intense shade of green and they were currently focused on him, the expression bordering on cold.
She was definitely not happy.

"I'm not talking about them." He said, referring to Rosier and Macnair (who he assumed she was most likely talking about) "You need to hear me out, alright?" He blanched at her suggestion that he was somehow here because of them.

Before he realized it had happened, his hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and preventing her passage, "Wait Lily, at least listen to me." There was a note of desperation in his voice and in the dark gaze trained on her.

"

[lily]

It was awkward, standing there staring at one another. She wanted to say or do something but it just felt beyond the point of repair. Severus had chosen his path, hadn't he? He wanted to be like the death eaters, the believers in pureblood. Why else would he call her what he did?

God, why was she even just waiting around asking questions to herself? She started to the door, once she was out she was gone, this was over. There would be no talking because it had all been done before...god after spending all those years defending him it came down to this in an empty classroom with him wanting to talk about what? What could really be this important that he had to wait?

Even her curiosity was peaked as she started to pass. She didn't need to hear what he had to say. Never, not today, not ever, not even--

The hand that grabbed her wrist startled her as she came to a sudden stop near the other student. She never remembered him ever getting physical with her or anyone really, but to feel his hand against her skin. He was warm, stronger than what she'd thought. Almost eight years spent together and now she was just surprised by the boy who had opened up the world to her.

"Sev!" She cried out, jerking back a little against the hand holding her as she dropped her books. Her wand was in her robe, but like this she couldn't really get it or she probably would have hexed him out of pure instinct of being grabbed like this. Staring at the hand for a moment she just shook her head before unclenching her fist and giving a long sigh.

"Fine. I'll listen to whatever you have to say, but this doesn't mean you can just grab me like this. Let me go." She met his gaze once more, giving a small tug with her wrist, taking a deep breath as she calmed down a little, "Please."

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

His eyes widened slightly and he let go of immediately, he hadn't meant to hurt her, he hoped he hadn't hurt her. A sick familiarity came over him then, thinking of the way Tobias was sometimes rough with his mother. But no, he had to remind himself that he wasn't like that (would never be like that), he had just had to stop her from leaving.

"Sorry..." He muttered, rubbing his knuckles and letting his hand drop to his side. He was both relieved and worried that she had agreed to listen to him fairly easily, Severus had been expecting a fight. But she may have already made up her mind and had only agreed so that he would leave her alone, like the day he had tried to apologize to her from outside the Gryffindor common room.

For the umpteenth time that day doubt clouded his judgement, but Severus grit his teeth, as though preparing for battle and took a breath. "I know that what I said to you last year was inexcusable and I will never be able to ever apologize for using such a degrading insult, but you need to be aware that I do not and will not ever think of you that way. You must understand that what was said was said out of..." He paused, having trouble admitting it, "humiliation and frustration at my own lack of control of the situation. Not that means I think it was justified...honestly I can't tell you what it was that made me use that particular word, but it's a word that I hear often, I suppose I am somewhat conditioned to it. I haven't stopped cursing myself for how much of a bloody fool I was...I know you don't care to hear this, but I will never think of you that way and...you are ten fold a better witch than any pureblood at this school and I just know that it's my fault...everythings my fault and..."

Severus was grasping at straws now, so many things he wanted to say fighting in his mind with what needed to be said and what made him uncomfortable saying. There was a slight flush of color on his pale cheeks and he was breathing irregularly, pulse quick under his skin. The dark haired boy was sure that he sounded sodding mad, a real pathetic idiot.

"I can change." He said finally, finding his voice again, striking a note of steel in his tone, "Please don't give up on me."

[/blockquote]

[lily]

Many times Lily had been told by friends that she would find the good in any person. Though in those many times it was an effort on their behalf to try to get her to stop being around the Slytherin she was with right now. For the past five years since school began for her she'd always been Sev's friend, even as she made others she always kept an eye out for him at the dining hall, or at events. During classes she would sit with him if it was allowed. Though at times this had caused tensions with people she could care less about them because there had been good in Sev. She knew it, she always tried to prove it to others, and then...

Then he had to go and ruin it all that one day.

Still he asked her to listen, he grabbed her, blocked her way. Whatever it was he seemed more determined to have her hear him out. Somehow this felt different, usually she was the one talking, the one making choices. To see Snape so forward was new.

As he began she moved away, walking towards one of the classroom windows to look out. A few first years were flying about at practice, a few people stretched out on lawns relaxing in what would probably be the last of the nice weather until summer again. Really she hadn't planned on listening to him at all, but there wasn't much else to do to ignore her. "I thought you were better than all of those pureblood only types as well..." She replied over her shoulder, lips formed into a frown still as she paced around the classroom. He sounded like he was floundering in his apology, and she tried her best not to look at him as he spoke.

"I can change.---Please don't give up on me."

That made her look over at him as she stood about halfway down a row of desks, fingers brushing the tabletops.

She always tried to see the good in others, she wanted to believe in it because then it made the world seem not as bad. Still once it was lost she wondered the use of trying to find it once again. The frustration boiling up in her made her bite down on her lip until the pink flesh turned red from the bruising.

"I was trying to help you that day! I don't like Potter and his gang of bullies, especially attacking you like they did...I've always defended you Sev, so why? Other than impressing those stupid Death Eater Wannabes...did I do something wrong?"

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

He looked away for a moment, not wanting her to see the flash of resentment in his eyes when she mentioned her involvement in what had happened. That day he had lashed out at her, even though the anger and hatred that had burst forth from him had been directed at her, it had not been her fault.

Things had been tense between them, the rift growing wider with each day. Lily and her stubborn black and white view of the world left little understanding and a completely one-sided argument that had him practically spitting with the injustice of it.

Still what he had done...that anger, that resentment and frustration that he had used against her, had always been there. Under the surface, undulating and cresting like some sort of heavy, black wave. It was mainly directed at himself and his complete lack of power. He hated how incredibly weak he was, how weak he had been against Potter and Black. And he hated that she had seen that, Lily of all people.

His humiliation and anger, the sheer intensity of everything had brought something ugly to the surface that had hurt her, and he knew he was to blame for it.

She didn't seem to have softened though, looking at her, his own breathing still off. He took a step slightly backwards, waiting for her to say something, but she stood there biting her lip, the silence hanging there heavy like a kind of invisible fog, filling up ones lungs and making the silence seem so hollow and dead.

When Lily did speak it was neither encouraging, nor otherwise. He swallowed again, "I was an idiot...I was angry and..." He shook his head, black hair falling into his eyes. With a simple gesture he pushed it out of his face and clenched his jaw, "You didn't do anything wrong, even if at the time I couldn't see past my anger at...well the situation."

He had always been treated as though he were the lowest of creatures by Potter and the majority of the school. He was the type of person who did not seek the company of others (save his friend) but he had lived with hearing and dealing with such sentiments for a very long time and it had turned him bitter and rather vicious.

He didn't mention that he had seen her slight smile that day and how deeply it had impacted him, but that did not mean he did not remember. There was some leftover confusion and conflict over that, but to him the only thing that mattered now was to make things right with her. Or to at least try.

Going further without Lily made him feel oddly cold inside.

"All of it was happening extremely fast..." He sighed, wanting to reach up and rub his temple. "I had no control over any of it."

[lily]

When he looked away Lily wondered if maybe in her help she'd done more damage then goo. It was having Snape turn his head from her as they talked that made her hesitate, watching the tension in his body and expression. Everything tight, strained as if pushed to the limit. She knew it well enough because often when she was home she could see Petunia straining like that every time she talked about Hogwarts. She was so use to being honest and open with him, and having the same from him that to have him look away, even in anger now she struggled to keep her own upset feelings towards him at the level they had been when he'd first walked into the room with her.

It had been months now since the incident, but as he talked about anger and control she found herself remembering it. It wasn't such a vague thing that was easy to forget, if not for the fight...then for the stupid trick that had been pulled in front of so many students from different houses. She remembered yelling at Potter, and then hearing Severus right after, his words making her feel like she'd just lost all her breath. Her face had felt so hot and red from being called that, the humiliation of it as well. What seemed so far away, a moment in teenager history that could be forgotten one day stretched on her mind, but really how long had it taken for it all to happen?

Maybe twenty minutes that just stretched into the months? Time to stew. Time to replay over and over every summer day as she found herself lacking her usual companion and believing that it was for the better. Lily didn't move away from Severus, but rather just stood there, eyes flickering on and off of him and down at the ground.

"I'm still upset about that Severus. I get enough of it at home, and from other Slytherins that to have you say it..." She brought her hand up, fingers tangling in long red strands as she shoved it back from her face. Cheeks were already a little warm. It was hard now, part of her wanting to just have things as they always were, but another part not forgetting how a line had been crossed that day. "You've been around more and more of those people who look at people like me and see something dirty. You are better then them Sev, how you ended up around them...I don't know, but when you said that, it felt like you had picked a side."

Maybe she was just tired of constantly holding back since she'd gotten on the train to school, pretending she was the same Lily, that nothing had changed other than the loss of Snape. Maybe it was just finally being cornered and having to actually talk, but tears pricked at the edges of green eyes as she drew her her arm up wiping them away on her sleeve quickly.

"I don't like it Sev! I know people like Potter and Sirius are cruel and they deserve to get a little payback, but you are different then them, better. You don't need purebloods to tell you that." Her breath hitched a little as she looked down at the ground, no longer angry...but still feeling confused. Would there always been this divide brought on because of some stupid magical hat? Did a House really decide fate?

"I want my friend back Sev. I want to forgive my friend, but I don't know know if you still want me as a friend even. I don't want to be scared that you'll pick them over me because of what I am."

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

Severus had never been the type of person who had easily fit in anywhere. At Hogwarts, in his house, even in his own family. The dark haired boy had always been ostracized and kept at a distance, a dark boy who lingered in corners on the fringes of everything else's existence.

He hadn't known much good in his life and he was constantly around people who either associated with him because they needed something he could offer, or those who either ignored his existence completely (which he could live with) or went out of their way to make his life hell. Really one would assume they would have gotten bored of such long ago, but it seemed as though there were some who were hell-bent on turning him into what they wanted him to be. And from somewhere, he wondered if that had happened to him already. They wanted him to be this horrible, depraved, wraith of a person and through examining his actions after the incident with Lily, he was starting to wonder if that was what he was on his way to becoming.

His dark gaze was intense and almost visceral as she continued to speak, the words curling around him and making his stomach clench with a burgeoning emotion he knew would have to examined. She had barely spoken to him, and he hadn't seen her all summer, but he had not forgotten how intense her presence was at times. Especially in her anger.

Severus was surprised to see her green eyes shimmer suddenly, a few tears escaping that she quickly wiped away with the sleeve of her sweater. He took a step forward instinctively, although he still felt unwelcome in the space. She had fallen back into calling him Sev again and it did nothing to settle his ever rising sense of panic and unease.

"I don't care about them Lily!" He said quickly, eyes seeming to burn with the force of his wanting her to believe him. His awareness of loss and the sheer magnitude of it that he had discovered over the summer, had pained him in a way brought many things to light, had forced him to see his actions in a completely new light. These people that cared little for him, these people he had worked so hard to earn the respect of....they seemed a insignificant and worthless prize that paled in comparison to that of her friendship.

It was in that exact moment that he realized something that had been clouding the edges of his mind for some time now. It seemed to coagulate into a complete thought at that very second and he stared at her for a moment before his voice seemed to come out of his body without his permission, "I don't care about them...about any of it anymore. I just want things to be the way they used to be and I don't want to loose you as a friend. I'm on your side Lily, not theirs and not anyone else's."

[lily]

It was getting hard now, after all her arguing and then spilling her guts in front of Severus, not to want to cry, or scream. Just do something loud and unproductive because right now it would just make her feel better even if it didn't solve the problem. This wasn't like other people she could easily write off...and even then...

God to simply take away a second chance. She'd planned on staying away from Severus all year, just avoid him like she had all summer. Never speak with him again after all those years, but it just was so hard now when she looked at him now. He seemed so determined to get through. Had he always been this way, or was this the years finally catching up to give him this look like he wasn't giving up? All that time dealing with Potter and other students...had she really been able to help him at all or just hinder him until now?

"Severus?" She was surprised at his outburst standing there in the empty room. Lily didn't know what to say now as he began to go on about his choice. Some part of her always expected that their friendship would end with the Death Eaters, people like those that believed in pure blood. Somehow she worried it would taint him and she would become this enemy is some way. Hearing him now, seeing him standing there, her chest felt tight, but no longer with the urge to scream at him. After the years of seeing him trying so hard to gain something to hear him declaring it’s lack of importance she shook her head slowly. “I know I’m not around all the time. I know it probably was lonely after the summers...” Her cheeks felt hot as she reached up moved to wipe at her eyes again with her sleeve. Damn it she was nearly bawling in front of Severus, but he’d seen her upset before it was just now she wanted to stay mad because it was just easier than dealing with the fact that she couldn’t always be there and that in some way she felt that maybe it was her fault he ended up calling her what he did.

“Just because others like you doesn’t mean I won’t be your friend. I don’t like them, but as long as this doesn’t become some battle between my blood and their opinion of it I don’t want things to change either.” Moving in she reaching out, touching his shoulder, or rather, grabbed it like a child clinging to a mother’s coat as fingers found purchase in the folds of his robes. “It was kind of a hard summer. After so many years I never realized how much time we’d spent together until I realized I couldn’t go out to find you.”

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

Lily had always been beautiful, even when she cried, which had always seemed strange to him because he detested when people cried. Severus normally was of the thinking that people's reflections of their own vulnerabilities should stay firmly lodged in themselves and not let loose onto the rest of society. However, when Lily cried it worried and even frightened him a little. This was largely due to the fact that he felt the need to do something about it, anything to ebb the flow of tears. He had never had that instinctive ability to comfort someone like she did, but he was not without trying.

Severus had always set about comforting a sad Lily the same way he tackled anything else, locate the source, the root of the problem and address it to the best of his ability. They had always seemed to be able to communicate without actually saying much at all and his clumsy attempts to lift her spirits generally worked. This felt different though, he had caused this and somehow he desperately needed to make this right

He took a careful step forward once more, gaze never wavering from her flushed cheeks shining with the remnants of her tears. The hollow space in his ribcage tightening as she spoke. "It wasn't your fault Lily..." Severus had felt some resentment toward her before, the ease of how she could simply exist the way she did, make friends, be loved. She had always seemed to exude a kind of light that drew people like a moth to a flame. It sounded incredibly selfish but he was afraid that one day she would realize how her friends were right, how he was nothing but a shadowy creep that followed her heels like a lost dog. She would realize that she was better than him, better without him.

Perhaps that was why he had turned a blind eye to how their friendship had been suffering. As though somehow it would hurt less if he allowed it to happen in such a way. Over the summer he had tried to bolster the hole where her absence had been with anger and resentment, but found it had been terribly hard to dredge up, draining even.

"But I don't care about those bloody morons, and they don't like me they only know that I am useful to them." He admitted this with a faint flush in his cheeks, moving so that his hair fell forward into his features like a long, dark curtain. "I won't ever be more to them than a half-blood that happens to be able to curse them into the ground." His tone soured slightly, but her next words had emotion spilling back into his dark gaze, looking down at her with an intensive sort of expression, "I would never let anything harm you." His voice had a note of steel laced with a promise of danger.

When she touched him he stiffened visibly for a moment, eyes snapping to where the hand lay, a sharp relief against the swallowing black of his robes. Severus swallowed, taking another step closer, a small swell of hope and wonder burrowing into his chest. "It was a very hard summer..." he murmured, gaze moving back to her face once more, "I thought about showing up at your house...or writing you a letter...I didn't know what to say to you though."