supposedly solitude [kyran]

[pandorah]

Pandorah wanted everything to stop. Tik tik tik, she could hear the non existent clock ticking in her mind over every second that passed. Her brain was overloaded and people were getting on her last nerve. She had already exploded on several people, snapping and telling them off until they got the hint and left. Some people were much more dense than others it seemed and required a bit more...finesse to move them along. All day she had been dealing with things till she thought she was going to burst, or cry. The latter however was far from acceptable and so she maintained being angry and upset at nearly everyone. There were a few exceptions to that rule and she treated them with respect and sometimes even a smile here and there. She had a lot of different aspects to her personality, no one ever saw all of them, at least not yet.

Peace was a break from being a Prefect. It was what she really needed right now too. A break from all the people, from caring about what they were doing or saying. In all her six years here at Hogwarts, working up to getting the position and being the best at everything that she could, she had never thought that a break would be necessary. However, they would not shut up. Chatter chatter, words and nonsense and it was driving her batty. The boys asking her why him and why now and why not me. The girls with nearly the same words just variations on the originals, and their seething jealousy. It was enough to make any self respecting girl want to pull her hair out.

Making her way to the lake was no small feat since she was trying to get there unnoticed and not harassed. It took her probably a good half an hour of moving around, sneaking and generally ignoring people to get by the watery surface. Thankfully not many people were out this way and no one else by where she was currently crouching down and playing with the waters edge. Sasha, her white feline familiar, was also pawing at the water. The cat looked up at her mistress like she was crazy, fluffed her tail up in the air haughtily and wandered up the bank a little to lay down and observe everything.

“Oh fine, you snotty little thing. At least you aren't asking me questions.” Why yes she did talk to her familiar, rather often too. She treated her like a friend and the little animal knew every single secret of the Ravenclaw. If someone could read her mind they would know so much, and a lot of things that could possibly get her in trouble she knew. “It's quieter here, soft and comforting.” Instead of going back up the embankment and sitting with her feline, Pandorah settled herself right at the waters edge. The chill of autumn was in the air and it left much to be desired for a rest outside, but she preferred it this temperature. Long legs folded underneath her body and she once more began to trail her fingers in the water, looking out at nothing but seeming to be thinking an awful lot.

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Kyran moved along the outer edge of the lake, following it in an absentminded manner. For once he allowed his thoughts to leak into a mush, leaving him empty and even a little distraught. He couldn't hold his strength up, couldn't keep his mask on all the time. Sometimes he felt his visage crack and he was afraid what other people would see beneath that layer that covered another layer, maybe to expose another like he was a complicated onion. The clouds in the sky were damp with a sick gray hue, and only when the skies parted did a small line of light bask down onto a spot on the lake. Kyran turned to glance outward, wondering what kind of creatures ruled within the waters. He felt something a kin to the surrounding – the waters was him, as how others saw him but what lie below was only a dangerous exposure.

After the cloud moved over the sun once more, Kyran turned and began his stroll around the lake. However, as he glanced forward he noticed a girl crouched in his line of path. He figured when he got closer to the female, he would leave his wandering and go find something productive. Yet, he was irritated that he would be obstructed like this. There truly wasn't a place a person could go alone. Maybe Kyran would have to search around Hogwarts for a room that was empty, so he could use the time to research or to cool down his blazing thoughts. Onward with his destination, he paused to find himself staring at a familiar face for once. It was that girl; the girl who had dropped off the note.

Pandorah Koenig.

Last time she had ran into Kyran she had went on a little tangent about how people really meant nothing to her. She had lectured him on how relationships should work. The entire time he was trying to be on his best behavior, to rack her head and to seek her out as an individual and not as a piece of meat to degrade or mutilate. Now Pandorah was in her own pitfall, caught into a nasty rumor. Surely there were parts of it that were true, considering this was the first time he hard heard the Prefect on the brink of reputation failure. The rumor had been something like, 'Pandorah Koenig and Sirius Black were caught about to do the nasty' or was it that they were caught actually doing it? No matter how it went, Kyran felt his judgment fail him this time. He had thought the female was mature, a little pompous but enough for him to get along with in the future. Now he wasn't so sure.

Did the Ravenclaw scream for that much attention to have Sirius Black's filthy hands to touch her? Kyran wasn't so certain why he was upset by the entire thing, or why he felt like he had to confirm it in someway. Just by the look on her face he could tell she was on the edge, that any minute she could crack about the rumor – because Kyran knew she was a girl who cared about her reputation just about as much as Kyran cared about his own. Had something he said to her cause her to think twice about how she interacted with other wizards? Tch. There was no way he could be responsible. Instead of abandoning Pandorah, he walked forward until he was a couple steps away from her. He stared down at her, somewhat revealing in the fact that he would ruin her lonesome moment – just had she had ruined his own.

“A once wise person said they had nothing to gain by fraternizing with the likes of me. Yet, have you gained much out of him?” Pride be damned, Kyran could at least gain that much about himself to the girl.

It would have been funny to see her snap.

[pandorah]

Perhaps out of all the things she should work on to improve the sense of her surroundings should be at the top of the list. She seemed to get lost in space, her own mind or much of nothing at all lately and not even notice it when someone was practically on top of her. Pandorah wanted to attribute it to her easy preoccupation with thoughts and other matters but if she was honest with herself she didn't know what was going on. Either way it was an unacceptable problem that needed to be addressed as soon as possible. Because, once more here she was being spoken to a fraction of a second after she noticed that someone was even coming close to where she was. Sasha was no help at all, in fact as she peered over at the feline she saw that the white blob of fur was fast asleep already.

Kyran was lucky, or unlucky if he really did want to get a ride out of her. He wouldn't be able to anger her so easily right now, she had enough time to calm down and think but not enough time to fully relax. His words almost made her flinch but instead she let out a soft sigh of air and tilted her head to look up at him.

Such an odd position the way she was sitting compared to him standing. He looked impossibly tall this close as she peered up. His slim body was slowly looked over until her pale eyes met his gaze, an almost accusatory one at that. Pursing her lips she shook her head and fought not to roll her eyes. “Once wise would be the apt description.” She removed her hand from the waters where something had started to tickle it, and flicked a droplet at the boy. It landed on the leg of his pants, a small darker spot that was hardly noticeable unless you were as close as she was.

There was more to be said but she waited a moment. The moment stretched on as she searched his face, curious at what she was seeing there. “You almost sound, upset about this.” Whether it be true or not Kyran sounded annoyed and bothered that the rumors were revolving around her and Sirius Black. She wasn't too positive on what jealousy sounded like but it almost seemed that way as well, probably more like pride. Slytherin's were very prideful individuals. “I only gained some knowledge, and a lot of headaches. Nothing ventured nothing gained, something like that.” A hand lifted and waved her words away dismissively. She said things but didn't seem to put a lot of weight behind them currently. Pandorah was upset, somewhat sad, and on an edge she wasn't even aware of.

The knowledge that she spoke of was small, simple and of no real use to her, so she figured. Learning how to kiss another, realizing that things could feel good and how passionate she truly was. For a short time there she had thought she was dead inside, being so cold and uncaring when it came to others was a worrisome thing. Forcing herself to try and care though didn't seem to work either. “So, are you going to tell me what a terrible mistake I have made? How you are disappointed in me or any other thing I have probably heard over and over again?” There were some guys that were rather annoyed with her. She hadn't given them the time of day and now she had been caught kissing Sirius...who would kiss anything. Looking up at Kyran she was pretty sure he would be that type, he seemed as such.

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Kyran could only find mirth in Pandorah's entire situation. She had attempted to talk down to him in their last meeting, just to be before him with her reputation wounded. Maybe it had worked out this way for a reason, Kyran had saved his own back by not befriending her. Oh, the irony. The male Slytherin had only approached Pandorah to let her in on her poor judgment, but from the sounds of it, Pandorah was very well aware. She hadn't snapped, she didn't sound too angry; for once she was agreeing with Kyran. At least the female was willing to live up to her own mistake, but why did she come out here? Was she running away instead of staying behind and attempting to fix her tarnished name?

Well, he was upset all right. There wasn't an inkling of jealousy however, for the emotions he experienced was due to his pride. He didn't offer his allegiance to many wizards, and Pandorah had rejected him at first – rejected him for a different experience. Kyran had disliked Sirius Black for everything he stood for, the way he used people, the way he caused commotion and appeared to get away with it every single time. Sirius was everything Kyran was not.

The splash of water wasn't felt, but he was aware Pandorah had attempted to flick the cool liquid at him. His eyes shifted downward, seeing nothing – for the black slacks were far too dark to show any change of color, and beneath his kneecaps is where his pants started to loosen, causing no contact with his flesh. “I have a right to be upset,” Kyran started, not afraid of admitting to how his thoughts functioned. Only a coward would hide behind a split personality, to tell Pandorah what she wanted to hear. “You made it seem as if I was a womanizer earlier, and yet you become seduced by one. You tell me that I am not worth your time, but the person who tarnishes your reputation is? What time I sacrificed to be in your presence, I was honest, nor did I disrespect anything you believed in. To see it end up like this... well, I am disappointed that I wasted my time, wasted my efforts.”

Cold jaded eyes shifted downward now, stopping when they came into direct eye contact with the female that was staring up at him. “What's worse is that I expected nothing from you aside from a bit of your time and company... maybe it was a good thing that it turned out this way.” The words were heavy, as if he was saying it could have been all a mistake. Kyran ran on logic, not on emotions, and so he convinced himself that Pandorah was no longer worthy of his time. But before he left the girl to her own issues, he had wanted to make sure she understand him to an extent where he wouldn't come off as 'flaky' or 'inconsiderate'.

“Despite your little escapade with Black, you don't need to hear my opinions. Your own guilt most likely suffices enough,” he had to let her know. Kyran wasn't going to lecture the girl on an experience that most teenage girls had desired. Although the male Slytherin wasn't aware, it sounded as if Pandorah had gained a sense of humility out of keeping Sirius in her life. With Kyran, the female Ravenclaw most likely wouldn't gain the same thing. This time, his eyes shifted, wandering over the girl's face before turning his head to stare out at the lake.

“Like any human being, I don't take rejection well,” another shift of honesty, and it was tough on Kyran or any male to admit they hated the idea, thought and feeling of rejection. But it was apart of life, and Kyran would move on. He always did. A small look of disgust crossed his face for an instance, but it was gone. Right now he didn't want to give Pandorah any more of his time, the idea of her was bound to give him a headache.

[pandorah]

Through the entire time of talking she continued to remain seated on the ground, hands near or in the water depending. He was standing over her and she almost felt powerless a time or two. It was just the upset, the draining of her willpower from everything that had been sucking her in and spitting her out. Perhaps that meant that Kyran had come at a most fortuitous time? She wasn't very argumentative and just seemed a tad sad.

It had been nice, the small amount of solitude and silence she had been allowed. Fate of course intervened and made sure she didn't get to enjoy it too much. If the rain hadn't been so prominent in the sky she may have brought a book out with her and lay on her stomach in the grass to read. However she wasn't fond of ruining books and especially of allowing them to get wet. That was so irresponsible and at least she could decide not to mess that up. Her reputation was another thing entirely. Pandorah knew she should just forget about it and move on but it was so difficult to when the school hadn't. Sure it had not yet been a week but there was always news of some girl and some guy...why was this such a big deal? Already she knew the answer but refused to acknowledge it and pushed it to the back of her mind as inconsequential.

The raven haired girl drew lazy circles on the grass with a long finger, the nail looking sharp and long. She should paint them again, her fingernails. It was such a sign of vanity but she was a girl and she did like pretty things. Painted nails, enhancing make-up, soft sheets, and romanticism. The latter thing she had never gotten and never expected to, but that did not stop her from looking at other couples with both interest and jealousy in her eyes. Peering back up at Kyran she wondered if he was one of the many boys who just either didn't believe in romance or were never able to comprehend the reason or meaning behind it. She hardly knew him but it was still fun to guess and see how things panned out.

One brow quirked to his admittance and she folded her legs underneath her raising her body up a good half a foot. He was honestly upset about all this and it was intriguing, if a bit confusing. Other guys had been upset simply because she had told them no and she had only laughed at them. It was hard to get close to Pandorah, let alone even be worthy of her attention. Call her a snotty elitist but truth was she just had more interest in books then people. If a person could offer her something a book could not, and actually mean it, that may change things but until then, books it was. “I apologize if you mistook what I said before as inferring you were a womanizer. I only meant that hearing all the girls gush about your looks or mysteriousness when I was trying to find you for the letter, that it would be easy if you wanted someone's attention. Nothing more.” She even inclined her head when apologizing. Sorry wasn't her forte but when she was honestly mistaken, or someone took something wrong, she wanted to clear it up. It would never do for someone to think she meant or said something untrue.

“I was not seduced by anything. Rumors, Kyran. Just which one are you believing the most?” He wasted his time? There was a flash of life in her eyes, anger and that deep passion that rarely showed itself. Someone, someday may be lucky enough to experience it full force but until then it was only hinted at when something rocked her to her core. “Oh, forgive me then once more if you feel that your time, and efforts, were so wasted on one such as I. Perhaps you should no longer sully yourself in my presence and move on then.” To further drive home the sarcastic biting tone, what wasn't already sharpened by her native accent, she mock bowed and swung her arms out in a wide sweep. “If you believe that it was a good thing then so be it. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad.” Straightening back up she fixed him with her cool icy eyes, face expressionless for the moment.

“Guilt? I have no guilt, I regret nothing. I refuse to live a life with guilt and regrets, those emotions are useless.” Her tone was back to normal now but that fire and passion was still sparking in her eyes as she looked at him. “It was all circumstance, the rumors are ridiculous and completely out of touch with the reality.” Why did she care to say any more to him? He was making it glaringly obvious that he wanted nothing more to do with her and yet here he was still standing.

Sighing she ran her damp hands over her hair as the wind picked up and whipped some of the long strands across her face. “I suppose that could be seen as a rejection, it fits the definition well enough. I wasn't rejecting you Kyran, I was...no, I am very bad at social situations. Not an excuse but an explanation. I usually do not get on well with people so I save them the trouble and just say no.” One brow quirked at his momentary facial change and she slowly licked her lips, suddenly feeling very dry. “I have nothing against you personally, nor your family. People in general just are not my thing. I am trying to change that but it is rather difficult. I have no friends even.” Like that last bit actually mattered, she didn't know. It seemed like something to say.

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Pandorah insisted there was nothing of being seduced, and although he had heard the story from the passing of a rumor – he truly didn't want to hear the real tale. Whatever happened between Black and Koenig were their own business. Kyran had judged Pandorah to be a difficult character to crack open. He had really believed the Ravenclaw female to be a kin to his own. Similar bloodline, decent-looking, had the same sibling status and relied on the same logic that their time must not be wasted on the less worthy. All the trust he gave into pure fact seemed to be slipping. Although Pandorah had apologized for the misconfiguration earlier, there really was no need now. The things the girl said to him at their last meeting didn't haunt him at night, the thought of her only occurred when he had happened to see her here.

Easy for him to want someone's attention? That was impossible, he had come across people who were disinterested in him. Any wizard he was intrigued by didn't return the sentiment, he was cursed in that regard. Maybe that is why he didn't thrive much on personal connections these days. “I don't necessarily believe in rumors, but there is always an origin. Something happened, maybe nothing at all; maybe the two of you were just chatting. But it's the way a person reacts to the mention of a rumor, with what you've told me... something did happen. But why would I sit here and pry? Only thing I could lend you is my raw curiosity, or rather, I just really dislike Black.”

There was truth, he didn't like Sirius Black at all. Not many Slytherins did. But he had an idea that Pandorah had found some solace in the Gryffindor male, was it a friendship, the company or the thrill of being around someone who was impulsive? He leaned on the girl's every word, hearing the emotion and anger rise when he had said she was a waste of time. Ha, the emotion, how amusing! Now the girl was very well aware what it felt like to be told off, to feel lower than someone. Now with her reputation turning inside out, Kyran could say something like that to her. Karma was a bitch. Guilt was being mentioned and Pandorah remained impassive about the entire thing. So, even when she was knocked down, she didn't feel the need to beat herself up over it.

But females did many unexplainable things, such as the girl retreating out here, alone. Kyran had yet to notice her feline friend. Kyran felt like he was kerosine to Pandorah, setting her alight with the smallest things he had to say. Everything he said and did had a double-meaning, he didn't ramble on if he didn't need to. The entire time he had his head positioned so that he was looking down at the girl, watching the way her face would change even at the smallest of words. One moment she looked calm, went angry and then was starting to drain into that apathetic stature.... The last string of her words were private, and her hair whipped about in a way as if to tell Kyran that it wasn't the easiest thing to say. How lonesome and loser-ish was it to say you had no friends.

The Ravenclaw could have given a prelude to the farewell, but whatever was going on, the only thing he could give the female was a gentle smile. Without invitation he slowly lowered his height until he was poised into a sitting position. Now he was about the same height with Pandorah, albeit her head being slightly raised with her leg prompted beneath her. Kyran lifted his left hand upward and so ever lightly placed it upon the girl's shoulder, it was a comforting gesture. “You shouldn't have to change for people, friends accept you for who you are.”

That is what he heard, that is how it should have been. He couldn't imagine being around someone who always misjudged and mistreated him. No one should have to change. Slowly he placed his eyes out to stare over the lake, keeping his hand there as a reminder that at least he cared enough to hear her out. But he was odd in the sense that he would never explain what he was actually doing.

[pandorah]

Pandorah was surprised when Kyran didn't poke or prod her about the rumor. When the Slytherin did not try and get the juicy details straight from one of the sources she waited. Still she talked with him and paid attention to him but she was seriously expecting him to harass her about the incident like everyone else had. In fact, some of his housemates were just the worst about it. Maybe because they knew about both family lines, she didn't know and definitely did not care. When he left it alone and did not comment or ask about what exactly happened she smiled. It was subtle but genuine. It made her like him more for it.

She could only imagine just what Elexrian was thinking right now, especially since Sirius was his housemate. Inwardly she rolled her eyes at the thought and knew that he would be approaching her sooner or later and demanding to know all about it. While he was a great deal like the other Gryffindor, Lexi had always been happy that his sister seemed asexual. The taller boy was over protective, even if she could probably beat him in a duel. Yet, that was not something to think about when in the company of an attractive young man who seemed to want to be in your company.

“Yeah a lot of people dislike Black. It's mostly the girls who seem to have a fondness for him, that and his gaggle of friends, that little group. He is an asshole.” Vulgarity wasn't usually par for the course but she did happen to call it like she saw it. Oh, there were many other words that were good to describe Sirius but that one summed them up pretty well. Even boys with that for a title could be decent, to their friends, and he was. Everyone else however, who knew. Kyran could come off as an asshole as well and she really couldn't tell yet or not if he wasn't. He was a cool character and rather calculating. She felt like he was taking stock of everything she said and did, down to a flick of the wrist or tonal changes.

He would be right on one instance for sure, Pandorah did not beat herself up over anything. Mistakes were made, things happened, accidents were a part of life. Picking everything apart to understand it was one thing, and something the Ravenclaw did often and well. Regrets were a waste of time and she did not bother with them. You cannot change the past and even if you could who was to say what the present would be like if you did. Everything happened for a reason. She felt like she was repeating things in her mind and she probably was but it was truth to her and how she lived her life.

Kyran smiled at her, a sweet thing on his face and she looked startled. By Merlin the boy was beautiful when he smiled. It shocked her and she took a moment to recover. By the time she did he was already sitting down near her and she could stop craning her neck to look up at him. One hand raised and began to caress the spot where her neck and back met, not realizing the strain on the muscles there until she could right herself to normal. “I like your smile.” Pandorah didn't give compliments often and she wasn't entirely sure why she had done it this time but it was out there and she looked into his eyes, not looking away even as she could feel her cheeks warm up from the blushing she was doing. He was touching her then and she drew her brows together in confusion. “I don't want to change for anyone but myself. I am tired of being alone, and honestly lonely all the time. I decided I want a friend or two, maybe more at some point. The only way that will happen is to step away from my safe place of solitude.” Maybe it was his comforting gesture but she felt like talking to him and did. She knew he wouldn't go blabbing about it based on how he treated the other rumor, this was safe at least.

He looked away and she watched his face for a moment, curious yet again. It seemed that the Slytherin boy not only got her emotions all over the place but also piqued her curiosity to no end. The hand that was not massaging the back of her neck lifted and trailed fingers over the top of his hand, curious as to why it was still there but not too sure on asking about it. Sometimes silence was golden and other times she just disliked breaking things. There was a moment going on and it was actually rather nice. He was being friendly and she refused her brain, the hormonal female teenage thing that it was, that there was anything else to the gesture currently.

“Do you have a lot of friends Kyran? What is it like having someone you can trust and talk to, someone other than yourself?” Her eyes, which had turned to look at her own fingers tracing over his hand turned back around to look him in the face, hoping he would look at her when he responded. Sasha roused herself long enough to walk over to them, paw at Kyran a moment then settled herself against Pandorah's leg and seemingly fell back asleep. “Oh to be a cat.”

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Kyran knew the type of loneliness the girl experienced, the closest thing to a 'friend' being their sibling. However, family wasn't supposed to know everything; they weren't suppose to hear the story of your first kiss, your first love and those embarrassing social mistakes. To confide your secret thoughts to someone, it took someone particularly special – someone who wouldn't judge, someone who wouldn't run to your parents. The Slytherin male wasn't sure there was a person in his life where he could talk freely, ramble on about all of his troubles and personal issues. Right now the path he was taking had a lot of bumps, and Kyran wasn't the type of person to write all of it down in a journal because evidence was bad.

Pandorah had some common sense, she was able to read a person for their actions. The Ravenclaw was well aware that Sirius Black didn't have redeeming qualities when it came to females, not all o them anyways. Even if Sirius and Pandorah were to befriend each other in the future, it really wouldn't bother Kyran personally. Sometimes the Slytherin was certain someone of Pandorah's stature should be introduced to a person with their head not screwed on so tight, that way a person would never look back and regret not 'having more fun'. Even if Pandorah wanted to convince him that she lived with no regret or guilt, the past would always come back and haunt heavily. Kyran knew his future was bleak, that if he didn't take his opportunities now he would become a bitter old man.

He didn't want to add more insult to Sirius with Pandorah, for he was beyond talking about other people behind their backs. Any issues he had with Black, he would confront himself. Besides, Kyran had already expressed his ill distaste, any more would most likely make Kyran look pompous. For he had a list of things he didn't like about the Gryffindor.

At the mention of his smile, he seemed a little... awkward about the compliment. He parted his pale lips for a second and closed his lids, allowing the muscles in his expression to relax. Was it so strange for him to want to smile again in response, but he felt if he did that he would be making himself look too modest. Would this be like having a friend? Being able to talk informally about random things like this, such as a person's smile or how they felt about another human being? Was it to the extent where they could bounce off each other and express philosophy? As Pandorah had looked into his own gaze, he couldn't help but waver.

“I suppose that is what friendship is about... making sacrifices,” it was a good thing he had looked away now, for keeping his composure was becoming difficult. Kyran was about to withdraw his hand from the girl's shoulder until he felt the tips of the girl's fingers over his own. It was a soft touch at first, as if curious to how the tendons worked. But then the feel of her hand progressed and she was inching toward his knuckle to the larger part upon the back of his hand. Even with the cat temporarily pawing at him, he couldn't ignore her any further. Kyran shifted his head so that he was looking at the girl's cool eyes. Unlike the chill of the fall season, he figured Pandorah's gaze would have more of a strong affect on him if there was sunlight – he figured she would look supernatural and glow, and her flesh would probably illuminate.

Shifting his hand a little he moved it so that his fingers could reach upward, latching onto Pandorah's exploring touch. “I am sure you know how it is.... you have people to talk to, but trust? Trust... that is, so hard to give to anyone...” even as he said this he thought about his sister Salem, he had talked with her about things, expressed emotions he wouldn't otherwise do with strangers, but he wasn't sure if he could trust her with his life. Especially with her being blind. Kyran held the girl's fingers within his palm, moving her hand and arm downward so that they could rest at their sides. “But I heard trust these days is someone usually only one person gets from another. A rare thing, imagine that..”

To be a cat, he would have enjoyed the idea... no obligations, no suffering, being loved and taken care of – that is, if the owner was a decent one. However, Kyran would never give up logic, that was his peace of mind even if it made him insane sometimes. He turned Pandorah's hand again, placing it into her lap and then gliding his own to rest on top of hers. It was a gesture to say, 'perhaps you should stop' or a pause for her to consider what she was doing. Although he didn't rely on rumors, he always worried about himself looking like Sirius Black. It wasn't in Kyran's heart to use the girl that way, nor would he try unless he figured out she was genuine.

[pandorah]

Social mistakes galore for this Ravenclaw. She had finally decided to open up some and actually be social and look at where it had gotten her. Her first kiss which left many memories she kept trying to push away. Not only that but her first set of nasty rumors that she had no idea how to deal with. People were not books, they had emotions and reactions and it was really so new to her that she kept screwing up. Pandorah was not happy with that. Everything had to be perfect and mistakes were not acceptable for her. Though it seemed like she needed to get used things like failure when it came to dealing with other people. Friends she was also hoping to make but honestly didn't know if anyone would be able to put up with her fumbling and shifting emotions. Time would tell however.

This entire situation was yet another new and foreign experience. When they had met last she was haughty and standoffish and was only there to deliver a message to his sister. She had been rather rude to him and despite the fact that he was lovely to look at hadn't cared one whit about what happened. When he had left her standing there she had to think about things and had realized that maybe she went about everything all wrong. He was one of the main reasons she had started to think before speaking and actually try the being nice deal. Not that she was going to continue to be nice all the time or would completely change, but there were certain advantages to not biting someone's head off.

She almost wanted to laugh and not in that cruel way. Watching his reaction to her compliment was entertaining. There was something cute about him it seemed and that was curious. When had she noticed he was this attractive? It seemed like it had snuck up on her to catch her unawares. Not that she minded but it was causing her to view him differently already. The reason why needed to be picked apart and sorted through, but not now. Now was for enjoying and taking mental notes and pushing things just to see what happened. Later when she was in her bed she could think on the other parts and see what she liked, or didn't, about what was going on.

Her tongue peeked out for a brief moment as she licked her dry lips. She wanted a drink suddenly but did not express this or make any other movement. There was also a shred of nervousness but she could not figure out why. “I am honestly not used to sacrificing anything but sleep and time, for knowledge. People are, different.” While she may be trying to make friends and step just a little outside of her shell it all depended on the people around her, students mostly of course, on whether or not she stayed that way. She would either make some friends and be fine with it or make none and figure she wasted her time. Anything beyond friends was definitely a curiosity but not a necessity, even if the teenage girl in her pined away for it. Pan tilted her head, curious as to why he had looked away but listening to him talk so she decided to wait, maybe ask or maybe not. Then he looked at her once more and she felt her breath catch in her throat for a moment. There was something about the way he looked at her then and she felt that it was good, she liked it.

Never had she felt more like a girl in her life. It was an odd feeling and one she wasn't sure she would be able to get used to, unless things like this kept happening. A quiet but audible gasp escaped her when he caught her fingers and she involuntarily twitched them against his own. “Trust is difficult to achieve. Her fingers felt so hot in his hand and she once again licked her lips but this time it was all due to the nervousness. “Anything worthwhile is hard to get. Trust, friendship...love. If it is easy than it may just be a waste of the little effort it took in the first place.” Really she did not know this but she did understand that hard work made for the best results with anything. Easy was nice but she didn't feel as good with the work if it was too easy. Hence why she took so much on at all times.

Pale eyes trailed down her own arm to the hand that was now in her lap. His was now on top of hers, intimate and not subtle at all with the weight of both it and his gaze.

What should she do? Moving her hand from underneath his would be seen as a rejection but she was not going to do that. Putting her other hand on top of his may be seen as something far more than an invitation for friendship, which it definitely would be. Her porcelain complexion suddenly flushed red and she had to keep her eyes on their hands for the sudden bout of nerves and instinctual urge to fidget. Pandorah knew she was a strong girl, both in spirit and body...and she was exceedingly confident. Yet this was confusing and hard to understand and she suddenly wished she could pause life and stand back to think about it. Slowly she made herself look back up and peer into his eyes. Her lower lip was in her mouth and she nibbled on it fiercely. “I, ah...well.” Words failed her and without thinking about it she brought her other hand forward and traced over his hand once more, enjoying touching him regardless of the reason.

This could all be for naught, she didn't know. Right now however she was just letting things happen and consequences be damned. That didn't mean she wouldn't still find other people attractive, or not respond when someone was flirting with her either. Pandorah had no idea what any of this meant. Friends, more than friends...just acquaintances finally that didn't want to strangle each other? It was too confusing to think about right now when her heart felt like it was in her throat.

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Kyran is a selfish man. If he had been any giving, sympathetic or even empathic for this matter, he would have been such a better person. He would have used words that had a genuine gate, he would have led her along his path of his own life – the Slytherin would have adorned all of his social problems, the secrecy of his family and the issue with his sister. But he was a cold, selfish person, and right now his time that was allocated to Pandorah was based on selfishness. Aware that his own family's pride was suffering beneath the veil, he was like a leech ready to give up his own dignity to find a way to weave something immaculate with her. So when his eyes were looking at the girl's light eyes, he was giving her a look that was soft, personal and meant only for her. Even if it was all an act, there had to be some hint of truth, right?

He listened to her words, they were truthful and personal. No one person could feel the same way Pandorah did, a similar experience, perhaps – but everyone coped with their problems differently. Up until now, he was sure the Ravenclaw had buried her loneliness into a caged box and was now giving Kyran a small personal peek. Learning on what his eyes were seeing was a mistake, he wished he could physically comprehend the troubles that surfaced with the two meeting, and talking like this. Like friends, not enemies. Rumors would not affect him, but he was curious as to what would surface if Pandorah and Kyran were ever seen walking side-by-side in one of the halls. Would an outcome such as that ever happen?

This Ravenclaw, this girl – Pandorah, she was a dangerous person. Even if Pandorah was oblivious to her how she was behaving, Kyran was aware, she was venomous without even trying. She or Sirius – whoever initiated the entire situation, they had sunk each other fangs in, creating a rumor that would baffle half of the students at Hogwarts. Not baffle for Sirius' sake, of course, but for Koenig. Just in one day, maybe in two hours, the female Ravenclaw had a reputation that she was ruthless, unfriendly and only strives for perfection. The person who had once had refused to tolerate the immaturity of Hogwarts had finally broken. Pandorah had shattered to pieces, bits and pieces of her the topic of the new gossip train.

Pandorah might be able to coat herself in armor, deflect the nature of the entire thing and dismiss it as nothing. But regardless of what she truly thought, it was potent to Kyran, potent to any man who had the chance to take a step into her cave. If they were caught like they were now, another rumor would happen and it would be absolutely scandalous. It was already his sixth year and the only gossip about him was either how cruel he was, or how the females perceived him. Whatever. It didn't matter, Kyran would find his own shovel and dig his own grave. If he was lucky he would have company. A tingle of warmth spread over the top of his hand, Pandorah had her free-hand on top of his. Although his intention of the touching was to return the hand to the Ravenclaw, to let her know he was politely rejecting her affection.

But she insisted, failed to see the point of his reaction. Kyran wasn't that accurate when it came to physical contact or silent meanings, but it was too late, he had jinxed himself with the situation. It was too late to start putting Pandorah down about her rumor, his bluff easy to call. Her nervousness was child-like in a way, adorable to an extent. His eyes remained locked and keyed onto Pandorah's gaze, wondering why the girl's words had failed her. Afterall, it was the Ravenclaw who had reached for Kyran like this, who had touched his flesh so softly that randomly he would feel chills along his arms. With his pale lips parting, he allowed the cold air to roll through his mouth, turning to lift his other hand toward the girl's face.

He placed his index finger beneath the girl's chin, holding her face to keep it in his direction. With the way the light was sitting around the lake, his eyes appeared to glow, the reflection coming from the lake. The sun had shown through, as if welcoming the warmth of the moment. If his eyes were any heavier, he most likely would have stared right through her soul, like she was transparent. “Are you at lost for words, or you wanting to say something and seemed to be tongue tied?”

[pandorah]

A niggling in the back of her mind slapped her upside the head and told her she was not behaving like herself. She had somewhat realized this a little before but had felt that it was best to just go with it. Now however things were just too intimate and this was only the second time they had met. What was going on with her that she was being so flirtatious and forward like this? Pandorah was annoyed, and she did not like it one bit. It had nothing to do with Kyran, not really. He was tall, attractive and intelligent, he would be a great catch to anyone really. Yet she was tired of not being herself and of letting people see things they should not. It angered her, really began to upset her and it was time to reign things in.

She was not the type to trust anyone with all that she was, and all her past contained. She had been through a lot and only grown stronger. It was one of the main reasons she refused to make friends or even bother with other people. Watching her father use them and toss them away, it was all too easy. If she continued to associate with him, with the Slytherin, the same may happen to either one of them. Pan had no urge to ally herself to someone for the sake of something better, she was the something better. Oh these conflicting actions and thoughts were giving her a massive headache and she felt like screaming.

There were things to blame it all on, but she didn't want excuses she only wanted the truth. Her eyes flashed angrily at nothing in particular and she figured that she best leave this Slytherin boy alone before she lost her temper on him. She was hard to handle and even more difficult to understand. Ruthless and impossible to predict. Her moods fluctuated wildly and some people had whispered that she was a bit crazy at times, though nowhere that she could hear them.

The idea that they would be caught had never entered her mind but it was bound to happen. They weren't exactly hidden or anything and there were far too many students for a place like this to be private. Wouldn't it be just grand for her to have yet another rumor about being with yet another boy? Then of course they would probably assume she was some sort of tramp and that would not do. She would definitely lose it then, and probably her status as Prefect. Oh why was this year starting to be so damn difficult?

She was ashamed of how actions and angry that it happened at all. It wasn't his fault but she felt cold toward him suddenly and let out a puff of air she hadn't realized she was holding. Still there was that nervousness, that odd tension throughout her entire body. It was nice but bothersome to be touching him and she cursed her female ways, no her teenage ways. Hormones be damned she needed to start acting like herself again. Not like this, some addle patted lovestruck idiot!

She peered back up at him when he spoke, catching his eyes. They were lovely, their color really shining through with the way the light was around them. It still did not change the confusion and problems she was facing in her own mind but it was a welcome distraction from the tumultuous things that were her thoughts. “A loss for words.” Her tone was flat even if her eyes were telling the real story. “This is unlike me and I have yet to figure out if I like it or hate it.” She spat out the word hate with real meaning, her accent giving it some heft. The small glimpse that Kyran Sinclair had gotten of what was inside Pandorah Koenig, was gone. Would he ever get to see it again? Perhaps, if he stuck around or was interested in it.

Slowly she removed her hands from being near his own and fixed her hair then straightened her shirt. She still was not interested in being a total bitch to him, he hadn't deserved it...yet. Now however she was uncertain what to do, even her mind had gone from thinking too much to doing much of nothing at all. Either way, she was getting a rather nasty headache and the sun light how it was shining was bothering her eyes.

[KYRAN ALDRIC SINCLAIR]

Just like that he saw Pandorah close off, and he wondered who was the dangerous being now. Kyran was more predatory than any student, he wasn't afraid of using someone to their last resource. Pandorah, Fala, and even his own sister. What had happened to him to make him seem so unearthly, so horrendous? It was in his nature, he was raised in such a mechanical way that the only release he found was from torturing others. Torture didn't always have to come with physical exterminates, there was so many other ways. In this situation it was hard to tell who was the wise one, and maybe it was all a game of chess. If it didn't stop now, it would in the future. Someone had to win or lose. Kyran certainly didn't want to lose to anyone, competition ran through his blood.

As the girl digressed, he removed his hand and settled them onto the ground. Beneath his palms he felt the wedges of stones, dirt and other grains that had been fossilized over the year. Sometimes he truly hated woman, they always felt like a maze he couldn't quiet get through without coming to a dead-end. Maybe there wasn't really here for Kyran to seek, the girl was bi-polar in everything she did. She wanted to open up to Kyran and then she didn't. No wonder she couldn't have friends. An acknowledging smile of her pathetic state came to his mouth, and his eyes shifted to the area of the sun. To Pandorah it would look as though he was just enjoying the nice weather, for once, the sun decided to appear.

What was with everyone at this place? They were all dolls, having nothing to say, there wasn't anything to show for it. His lids curved downward, making the white around his irises that much brighter. In a way he looked softened in the sunlight, was if he was a generous guy that would show up and help a damsel in distress. It was a wonder that there was a human being inside the shell known as Kyran, everything he did was meant to hurt someone. To catch a guy like that would take someone extremely adept at trickery and very potent. He leaned forward, leaning down to take some of the cool dry sand, allowing it to sink through the crevices of his fingers.

As his palm emptied, he flipped it over to let the excess material fall to the ground. He turned his head to glance at the girl, the strange lighting making his dark locks seem a little lighter. “You have a lot of time on your hands. Remember your entire life isn't in Hogwarts, you'll have one beyond this,” he was sure the girl was aware of the circumstances, but sometimes people forgot that the school – well, was just that: a school. They were here to learn and grow, to find their ways into a career and help out in the magical society. Sometimes Kyran wanted to forget the reality, to enjoy himself like any student. But he saw the entire time line as his play ground.

“Just enjoy what you can, sometimes it doesn't hurt to think so much,” it was advice, but it was not genuine for Kyran didn't really comprehend it. He wanted to stop thinking, to live his life the way he wanted to but his fate was designated for a jagged path. What he said to Pandorah was only out of envy, because albeit what she would do she would surely get what she wanted through her name, her power and wealth. “The plate might be full, yet it is nearly empty... so decide what you can feast on because it might not be there forever.”

[pandorah]

Things were a mess in her head and no one deserved to deal with the outcome, at least not yet. It would be better if she could take some steps back, rummage around in her mind and at least sort some of them out. Then she wouldn't care who got in her way they would all have to pay somehow. There may be some exemptions to the rule but the number would be less than she could count on one hand. Having been closed off for so long she also rarely noticed a lot of the incompetency around her and things were definitely changing. Her eyes were open and it would both be good and bad, a double edged sword.

He would be very right about her bi-polar nature. She thought things up and down and depending on the day may easily change her mind about something she felt the opposite of the one before. Most of the time though, on certain things, her thoughts and opinions stayed the same. Dealing with idiotic people was one of them, she disliked it and rarely even wanted to be associated with them let alone be around them. Curiously she tilted her head at his silence and then the small smile. Pandorah had no idea why he was smiling but he looked out toward the sun and she just assumed, cause it made no difference to her either way, that he was enjoying the sun peeking out at them once more.

Her mind was elsewhere and she was becoming restless. Even in class it was hard for her to stay still and she often kicked her leg or tapped on something. Too much energy and not often enough time to use it. Now she fidgeted and changed position, moving her legs to stick straight out from her body and began to trace symbols upon the pale flesh with the tip of her pointer finger. She caught his movement out of the corner of her eye and looked down to see what he was doing, only to look away again. It was nothing, this boy was becoming nothing...she was becoming bored with him. All he provided her with was a blank wall or rather a black hole, small in size for now. She needed excitement not ho hum. Perhaps he could have been exciting at some point but she wasn't going to stick around forever waiting while she could be doing other things. What if his potential was just to be the type that sucked up everything away from you and returned nothing?

He began to speak and as she listened she stood up, dusting off her uniform and straightening it back into something resembling neatness. “I know that I have so much more left to live. Time later and some time even now.” Pandorah knew all too well what she wanted in life. To succeed, to become something her father never could, to snub people who got in her way and to prove to herself that she was just that good. A teaching position was a top priority, Arithmancy for sure, than Headmaster. She knew exactly what she wanted with her life and even now was beginning to cultivate things necessary for her to achieve this lofty goal. Just being Prefect helped, next year Head Girl of course.

His next words were somewhat baffling in that she didn't understand why he even said them. “Opportunities are always changing and they never last forever, but likewise you cannot take them all.” Her gaze looked downward upon him and she seemed expressionless except for that spark flashing in the depths. “I make my own opportunities and take what I want. If I don't want it...I don't bother with it. There are many things that end up just being dust in the wind, inconsequential, many people as well.” There was a possibility that she could be referring to him as meaning nothing but she did not come right out and say that if it were so.

He was somewhat bothersome and she wasn't sure talking to him again would make any difference. Lovely face, smart as well but they just did not seem to have anything between them but veiled insults and contempt of one sort or another. She dealt with that on a daily basis with many others, cultivating a relationship of any sort with one of them would be a waste. Was it to be the same with this one as well?

“I should give you the same speech but I have a feeling you know it well. Some opportunities just pass you by. Good day Kyran.” Her tone went saucy then and she flicked her hair over her shoulder and walked away from him. The Ravenclaw was full of confidence which could easily be mistaken as ego but she knew better. Now, narcissism, that was another thing entirely.

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OOC: Bah forgive me for this taking so long the muse was being a pain in the butt. Seems like it's over though :<