you seem nice {{ Pandorah }}

[pandorah]

Pan had watched his face carefully when she mentioned Hogwarts most notorious playboy. Not really sure why but she realized that it mattered what he thought about that. Probably because they were housemates and she had felt like he was someone she could trust, that and he was the other boy she liked so that did have a little something to do with it. No one would like the idea that she was liking Sirius, even she wasn't entirely comfortable with it. Pandorah prided herself on not being like everyone else and falling for his charm because that, in the end, was just superficial. She knew she needed someone who was intelligent and loyal, steadfast and witty. With her acerbic wit and volatile temper she had to have, if a boyfriend were ever an option, a boy who could match her or at least be able to handle her many different moods and whims. Most importantly however, they had to have passion. Passion was what drove a person, without passion a person was lifeless in her eyes.

Castor was good with the flattery even if it was not on purpose, in fact that just made it even better. A wink was all the response he was given to his comments about her being so brazen and how no one else had embarrassed him like this before. The Prefect was the type to just go with her instincts which it seemed got her something good. He was so delightfully cute when he blushed and it was obvious that he didn't mind so she would continue to do so. The fact that she kept doing such outrageously flirtatious things was still a surprise to her but a pleasant one and it made her warm inside.

“Oh thank you for the compliment.” Though she did wrinkle her nose at him trying not to giggle. It was nice to hear he liked the way she wore her skirt and if he wasn't so close and helping her with her sleeves she would have done a little twirl. In fact now she wanted to do it more than ever but it would have to wait. Did that mean he had noticed her legs as well? The thought caused her to feel giddy and she silently cursed herself to stop thinking such a way and go back to behaving and not thinking of such naughty things. Though she knew there was nothing wrong with thinking like this, it was the actions that changed everything.

There was something so fascinating about the way he responded to her touch and to her words. It should have embarrassed her and made her want to stop but instead it had the opposite effect. Pandorah wanted to do more and say more, to watch him twitch and blush. She even began to wonder just what he would do with other things. Now she blushed once more wondering at herself and these wicked thoughts. This was not normal and she just could not figure out why it was happening at all. Was this how a girl reacted and thought when around a cute boy? No wonder they were all crazy looking in her eyes.

“I wouldn't be surprised then if you have a lot of girls and boys who think you like them more than you do.” Her tone was rather meaningful and one of her brows arched upward. It would be very easy to think he liked her more than just a friend and incredibly easy to get carried away with it as well. “Mmm yes I am used to being treated a lot differently, very hands off and left...alone.” Her expression drooped, she looked rather sad but then he kissed her cheek and she flushed once more and instinctively slid a hand to her cheek. “Pretty you say, thank you. Sounds so different when coming from you.” It really did too, so unlike many other boys who had said it and she just disregarded them.

“Well I honestly have no idea what to say to that.” Pandorah was shocked, he didn't seem like the flirty type but oh did she like it, a great deal. In fact it was downright inspiring. “I think I have found something to say actually. You have no idea if you would enjoy it or not, since you have yet to kiss me.” She tapped his nose playfully and gave him a shy grin. Then she kissed him, having a feeling he was either expecting it or wanting it or perhaps both. Her lips met his and instead of leaving her arms at her sides and doing nothing with them she lay them atop his shoulders and threaded her fingers together behind his back leaning her entire self into this kiss.

Unlike the one from before she had started this, she wanted this. Pan was so much more prepared and felt better about what was going on because the setting and the guy it was with. He would either kiss her back or push her away and say no. She knew Castor wanted to kiss her from what he said but that didn't mean now. He could mean later, she hoped not.

[aubracex]

Castor was surprised by the kiss, but fell into it easily, much more easily than he thought he would have before. He let his eyes drift closed and rested his hands lightly at her waist, aware of how different she was when it came to things he was used to. A simple touch here could mean something different to her than to him. A touch there could mean he was extremely attracted to her, and it could somehow push her away.

He let the kiss last a few moments before he pulled back, though his hands stayed where they were. His thumbs moved lightly over the fabric of her sweater vest. "Do you prefer not to be touched?" he asked softly. "Do you prefer being hands-off and left alone?" He had the distinct feeling that, while she may have felt that way with other people, perhaps she felt differently with him, as he did with her. He shook away the idealistic notion that perhaps they felt differently about each other because they were made for each other. He never entertained fairy-tale notions like that.

"Pandorah." The name still felt a little strange to him, but he didn't switch back because he knew she preferred this. "I would like to get to know you better," he said. "We are in the same house, so perhaps we could spend more time together. I regret that we never really spent time together before now." Finally, he let his hands move from her waist to hang again at his sides.

The sun was beating down on them now. It was a little more than pleasantly warm at this point, and Castor really was aching for a flight. His broom was in the Ravenclaw quarter of the locker room, waiting for him to climb aboard and take a turn around the pitch, just to cool the heat of his skin. He recognized that Pandorah was quite a bit paler than he was, and wondered if she would burn too easily. He thought he remembered a charm for sun protection that some of the other quidditch players used on sunny days, when the games were lasting longer than usual.

"So," he continued, coming back from his thoughts, and realizing with a blush that he had been outright staring at her, running his eyes from her face to her bared forearms to her knees, peeking out just above her socks. She probably was just as warm as he was. "Perhaps we could...arrange an outing together," he said uncertainly. He had never had so much trouble asking a girl to go somewhere with him, though he supposed he had never really liked a girl like Pan. "We could go to Hogsmeade or..." Well, there really wasn't much else to do away from Hogwarts. "Anything, really."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

Though she had figured he wanted to kiss her she honestly wasn't sure he would. He came across so shy but then not that she honestly could not predict things about him, at least not yet and that was probably one of the best things about him. Besides the fact that he was smart, sweet and so nice to look at. Her hands were so close to his hair that while they were kissing she let a hand creep up and thread through his curls grinning against his mouth as they parted from each other. The only problem she could see with the kiss, and of course she saw a problem because she picked everything apart into tiny pieces to find a fault somewhere, was that it didn't really curl her toes or anything. It was nice, it felt good but she didn't experience that heat like the other kiss she had gotten before. Was this normal? There was not enough experience under her belt for her to really compare such things right now. Maybe it just meant that she actually liked him and it wasn't all physical. Pandorah couldn't ponder it too much since she had no way of really knowing.

At his question she tugged on his curls, giggling and shaking her head. “I don't know. I am so touch and affection starved that I think it can overwhelm me easily. Once I get a touch I want more, so much more.” Her voice became throaty at the last bit and she closed her eyes to take a deep breath. “I swear I almost fear for the boy to get my full attentions! I fear I may tear him apart...in a good way of course.” Such a confession of what she believed was hidden wantonness just came bubbling forth and she blushed so badly she felt she might swoon. Ahh well, let it be it was what she was thinking anyway. “I do like being alone but only because I dislike idiot people bothering me. Smart people are another matter entirely.” She fashioned Castor with a wink then laughed again because she just could not keep that up right now.

“There is nothing worse then being surrounded by those that are supposed to love you and getting nothing at all. I have little hope for anyone else after that.” It was a deep confession something she rarely talked about but now was out in the open. To clear it away and the air around them she waved a hand and scrunched her face up indicating her embarrassment over saying it. Hopefully he wouldn't pick up on it or think much on it but she knew better, he was far too smart. Though he was nice and polite he probably wouldn't say much if anything about it. She was worrying too much.

Pandorah tilted her head at his words and furrowed her brows. “Well yes we could spend more time together, I think that would be nice. I have very few friends and none really in our house.” Though she was a smart girl she really didn't get what he was going on about and mistook it for just a friendly commentary. Of course they should see each other more often now that they knew they could get along. She would love to have someone to hang out with from Ravenclaw, how nice that would be. Lily was in Gryffindor and both Chord and Severus were in Slytherin though she couldn't be too sure if she was friends with the latter boy or not, either way she respected him and that meant something. Since he moved his hands she really did think he meant friends more than anything else, it was a sort of disengagement from her in her mind and she didn't even think to ask about it because why else would he do it?

She didn't mind that he had been staring, found it rather flattering really. Pan traced a finger down the length of his nose, had it hop off and tap at his mouth. It was a delicious spot to focus on for a moment while he spoke, watching him form his words and wanting to kiss him again just because she could. “Arrange an outing?” Finally she looked back up into his eyes and seemed confused. “Oh wait! I had taken you wrong at first! You mean, are you asking me out? Like a type of date or something or is this just as friends?” Blunt and to the point, she had to know. She liked him enough to not want to hurt him with her own idiocy over such things.

Though she didn't wait for him to answer since she had been wanting to do a twirl and he had let go of her she indulged herself. Pandorah was showing off a side to her that she rarely did. It wasn't something she even liked to acknowledge sometimes, this girly and cute side that she had tried to kill so many times before. It was a useless waste of a personality and did nothing but cause confusion. Grasping her skirt in her hands she twirled around in a circle three times. The hem of the skirt lifting dangerously high, close enough that he could just see the rounded area where her bottom began, before she fell backward on the ground and look up at the sky huffing out a breath. “Sorry, I had to. I have been wanting to for a little bit here.” Her full lips split once more into a grin and she lay there splayed on the ground waiting to see what he would say, then they could be off where ever he wanted to go, she was feeling great now and didn't care where they went.

[aubracex]

Castor would never say so, but he rarely felt much in kisses. They were, in his opinion, for the girl. They were just a sign of how he felt for a person, nothing important, really, though he didn’t hand them out like some people he knew of. So, even though physically the kiss was nice – and yes, he did enjoy the feeling of her fingers finding their way into his hair – he couldn’t say he was extremely excited about it. He was just happy that it had been done, that she felt similarly, and that they were able to show it in such a manner.

“I’m sorry that you have been denied affection,” he said. He grew up in a relatively large family, his brothers and sister rather boisterous and very loving, along with his parents. “If…if you wish for more,” he said, somewhat uncertainly, “you can always ask. Or just take it. This, for example.” He didn’t gesture other than nodding his head to indicate the two of them. “This is nice, isn’t it? And this?” He lifted a hand to touch her arm lightly, the arm of the hand that was currently tangled into his hair. She hadn’t released him and he hoped that meant she liked the feeling and not that she was somehow stuck. “Perhaps finding good company is as simple as what you did earlier, speaking to me in the library. Especially for us, as Ravenclaws, that is perhaps the best place to start.”

His eyes lowered at her confession, but he said nothing of it. He didn’t want to offend or upset her by bringing about a discussion. His mind went to her family life and what her other friends were like, if she felt like no one loved her, or that they didn’t show it. He would be the first to admit he had few close friends, and those friends were like him: quiet, reserved, polite. He wasn’t sure he would say truthfully that they loved each other, but they were at least content in each other’s company. But he didn’t feel unloved.

His eyes blinked back to her as she tapped his lips, wondering why she would ever do that. Perhaps she was thinking of kissing him again. Perhaps she wanted him to kiss her. He was considering asking her when she said precisely what he was thinking. But of course, he hadn’t been able to, and his cheeks lit as she put into words his true intentions. “Uhm, well, yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “Yes, I would like to go out on a date with you, Pandorah,” he said, swallowing. “I’m sorry I’m…bumbling over my words…” His tone trailed off as she released him and stepped back to spin. He cleared his throat again, his blush darkening as she spun quickly enough to lift her skirt and he politely looked away.

“Of course,” he murmured. “I’m sure it cooled you off well, yes?” He looked away, his eyes on the grass to the side of the path. “Erm…” He leaned over to hold out his hand, keeping his eyes above her waist. Her skirt had lifted as she had fallen and was dangerously high on her leg, showing a bit more skin than he was used to from the average school girl. “Come along, you can’t lie in the grass like this all day. You’ll stain your uniform…” He knew he sounded like a fretting mother hen but really, she could burn, or cause him to blush so heavily he would faint. He didn’t think she would be impressed if he managed that.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

Much like him she too was sorry she had been denied affection. As a child she didn't understand nor see a point to it. The only one whom she hugged or touched at all being her brother. Affection seemed like a weakness, trivial and silly. Growing up cold, heartless and uncaring had not been healthy to her young and fragile state of mind. Pandorah's formative years were ruined because of this and there were a lot of things just wrong in her mind, concepts that were off and ideals wired incorrectly when dealing with the rest of the world. She wasn't truly aware of this herself but it was still a fact. The Ravenclaw was somewhat broken inside and she still moved on and added more and more to her fragile mind, further setting it off balance as the years progressed.

“Ask for affection? Doesn't that completely negate the idea though?” Her pale eyes were wide with curiosity and she simply shook her head not understanding that part. “I think taking it works better yes. Being offered it is also nice, without having to take it but I believe I am going to start taking what I want. I cannot always count on others to interpret my thoughts and gestures now can I?” The words were slightly sinister but her tone was just normal, there was nothing in it that would hint at anything behind her words. However she was already thinking that affection wasn't the only thing she should just take should she want it. Why be denied anything she wanted? It made sense and definitely required deeper thinking at a later point. Her head nodded when he asked if she liked being close, to his touching, no words were needed and would just be unnecessary.

After she lay on her back on the ground she thought about what he said, what he was asking now officially. “Well, I have never been on a date before truth to tell. I have been asked a few times but I thought they were such pointless wastes of time.” Not that she was turning him down but she was being honest with how she had felt at one time, things always changed. “This year though I am more open to many things. I had even divined the kiss I had gotten before, silly as it sounds. My Arithmancy is very good, I want to be the Arithmancy teacher at some point.” Now she was just speaking aloud about a dream she had since it passed through her mind at the moment.

Finally she looked up at him, the light almost in her eyes but now he thankfully shielded it. Though her eyes were normally rather pale the brightness of the sunlight made them almost clear in their shading. “I would love to go on a date with you Castor, yes indeed I think I would.” Pandorah broke out into a rather large smile then. It was the first time she had ever accepted an invitation from a boy before so it felt good and actually right this time. “I had told myself, this year, that I would do more than just find friends. I would be more open to things, yet I cannot be open to boys who mean nothing. You, are not one of those.”

She reached upward, grasping his hand with her own and tightened it. “Staining my uniform from just laying here? Or were there other things in your mind that would cause such a thing to happen?” Her grin was lopsided this time as she had tried to smirk but couldn't help almost laughing. “Are you secretly a naughty boy Castor?” She waggled her brows at him comically, gave him a wink and then yanked hard on his arm, making sure it wasn't so much that she would hurt him at least.

The tall boy flailed in the air trying not to land on her, which had been her intention in the first place but at least she got him to land on the ground at all. He was rather agile but she had counted on his surprise and her strength to accomplish her goal. He landed with a soft thud on the ground beside her, all his trying not to land at all had gained him was landing on his back and not his face at least.

Pan burst into laughter and then action while he was catching his breath she hoped up and straddled his waist putting her knees against his sides and squirming until she was comfortable. “I have a feeling I am going to surprise you over and over again. Can our poor heart withstand being around me the rest of today, let alone another time?” Her hair was a bit of a mess from her sudden movements and it fell in her face a moment and also off to the side yet she could still see him. Looking at him from this angle, his curls and the depth his eyes contained, the flush on his cheeks and those lovely lips, she was struck a bit dumb for a moment. “You are beautiful to look upon. Is that wrong to say since you are a boy?” One hand reached down and caressed gently across one of his cheeks as she spoke to him.

[aubracex]

A smile and a brightness came to his face as she acquiesced to his request for a date. His mind already running over the things they could do, he grinned at her. “I’m glad I mean a little more than nothing,” he said softly. Her hand felt warm in his as she took it, and he was delighted to find that she had a firm hold on his hand. Honestly, some girls were annoyingly petite and fragile. Pandorah was strong, pleasantly so.

He prepared to pull her up, but froze as she mentioned such things to him. His mind had not been on that, not at all. In fact, he had been firmly avoiding thinking such things, avoiding even looking at her exposed legs to keep from imagining anything of the sort. “I-I’m not,” he stammered, eyes wide. Surely she was teasing, wasn’t she? He let out a little surprised cry as she pulled him down, surprised by her strength. He realized in a split second that he was about to fall right on top of her, possibly hurt her, he needed to fall a different way, and try not to embarrass himself, all at once.

He flailed well enough to twist as he lost his balance, grunting as he fell on his back, the wind knocked out of him and one long leg staying behind for a moment before it too fell to the ground. Winded, he couldn’t do a thing as she climbed on top of him, not a thing but blush furiously at their positions. She was laughing at him and he looked absolutely horrified at this whole situation. “Pandorah,” he managed to get out, resting his hands awkwardly in the grass as he tried to find somewhere to put them that wasn’t on her.

God, then she moved. She squirmed until she was comfortable and he had closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on something other than the fact that she was literally rubbing all over him. She was so incredibly inappropriate he was beginning to fear that spending more time with her would cause his face to stain beet red permanently.

“I-I don’t think so,” he admitted. His eyes were still closed. “Why are you – Miss Koenig…” His heart was pounding and he was sure she would be able to feel it, seeing as she was sitting on his stomach. She was perfectly positioned to feel it – well – there. His ears were red now, beneath his curls. His hair was now just as much a mess as hers, hanging in his eyes until he shook his head to remove them. He bit his lip, then reached up to push her hair out of her face so that he could see both her eyes.

He finally gained his senses back soon enough, the redness finally receding as he focused on her face and as she focused on his. “I’m not beautiful,” he said, frowning slightly. “Perhaps handsome. I have been called cute before, as well.” She stroked his cheek and he was stricken with the urge to kiss her. He put his arms behind him and pushed himself up to sit, slowly enough to slide her into his lap instead of his stomach and hips. He wanted to kiss her again. He even leaned in, but he couldn’t bring himself to close the gap completely. “Are you trying to make a fool of me, Pandorah?” he asked softly, his tone somewhat cold. “You’re one of the few people I find myself opening up to. One of the few who can embarrass me. I won’t have my feelings toyed with.”

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

What would he do for a date she wondered to herself, in the short amount of time she had before her actions. What did one do for dates anyway? Pandorah knew that some people went to Hogsmeade as that was the place to go when you were here in Hogwarts, but was there anything else they could do? That brought about another odd thought and she didn't frown outwardly but inwardly she could feel it. Once this year was over she would go back home, all the way back to Germany in fact. No one here lived anywhere near her as her father was very fond of privacy and his lavish estate which took up far too much property. Though being a wizard there were always ways to meet up with people. She had to stop herself, she was thinking far too ahead when they hadn't even gone on a date once yet. Her mind was too fast for even her sometimes.

An impish grin had crossed over her haughty face as he stammered. It was exactly what she was implying, playing and teasing him and it was so much fun! If anything Castor was going to be a wonderful friend whom she could tease and pester to her hearts content and so far didn't seem to be too bothered by it. The only thing he did was blush and oh did she not mind that.

Pandorah knew she was being far too forward with him but he was fun! Each stammer, each blush filled her up with joy and glee and not of the cruel variety which was nice to feel. Perhaps she would scare him away behaving like this but right now she just could not bring herself to stop, and didn't see why she should. Though she honestly was not aware of how she was sitting at the moment only that she had the advantage, the upper hand as it were. The squirming had been just to make her knees and hips more comfortable and nothing more.

Her eyes followed his movements as her hair was put behind her shoulder so that she could see him fully and now he could see her as well. “Miss Koenig again hmm? Do you do that when you are too flustered or when you are upset at me?” A small frown slipped to her lips but just as quickly faded away. If he was upset then he was, he probably had ever right to as she was very much so offending quite a few sensibilities currently. His heart was hammering in his chest, her body placed just right to feel it in the most interesting of ways. This time she flushed brightly and began to fidget with the ends of her hair.

Watching the blush slowly slip away from his cheeks had her curious, her head tilted to showcase this and one brow quirked upward. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Yes you are cute but I reserve handsome for older males. I find you incredibly attractive.” Suddenly she was moving and her eyes went wide and arms flailed for just a moment as she wasn't sure if she would be tossed to the ground or not. Maybe he had gotten tired of her actions and was done with her now, she never could say and wouldn't be surprised. However the movement was slow enough that she soon regained her senses and just slid fully into his lap and instinctively curled her legs around him this time so her knees would not become sore. Then he shocked her and she was speechless, mouth agape, for a good few moments.

Pale eyes blinked several times as she thought over what he had just asked her. How or why would he think those things? She didn't touch or play with anyone. “I...no.” Pan swallowed hard against a sudden and unexpected lump in her throat. “Why would you think that?” Her expression slipped to one of outrage, anger and deep down hurt. It was easier to be angry when she was hurt, she always resorted to anger when there was fear or pain of any sort. Her lips screwed up into a sneer and she placed her hands on his chest and shoved him, hard. It was mostly to move herself off of him as fast as possible and to get him away from her. She scrambled to a standing position and angrily yanked her hair behind her head, pulling a few strands out which wrapped around her fingers.

“Do you think I am the type of person to do such things only to fuck with your mind? What the hell is wrong with you?” Her tone crept higher with each sentence ending but never reached that dangerous girl pitch, she just had too husky of a voice for that. “Yes, because I spend my days toying with everyone's emotions. I make it a hobby of mine in fact, lucky you. No instead I think it is I who has been made the fool of.” She willed herself not to cry because that was what all females did when hurt by a male and she was not like them, she was stronger and better. She would not use tears, ever. Even so her eyes were obviously moist and her tone was shaky. What had she been thinking? This was all a mistake, every moment here had been foolhardy and wasteful. She knew better! Why did she bother with things at all?

Her long legs took several more steps back away from him, her temperament on the verge of something dangerous as she wanted very much to cry or hit something. “You don't have to worry then as I won't bother you again. There will be no toying with feelings and no making anyone a fool. Forget I even bothered with this as I am going to do my best to forget about you as anything other then another Ravenclaw.”

What he had said had hurt her on some deep level. She was being playful and opening up which she had never done before except with Elexrian. Even Sirius whom she claimed to like knew absolutely nothing about her and had not gotten this type of treatment before. So when he said those things it was like he had slapped her across the face. Pandorah realized that she had just been going to fast, doing too much, far too eager and had left herself wide open for something like that. She deserved it. It was a wake-up call. The few friends she had, she would tell them nothing, she would not pursue anything again. She fucked up, she screwed up, she messed up and he couldn't handle it and ...and what? Somewhere inside of her she was happy to see him not just blush and stammer. Castor obviously wasn't all just fun and games, there was a lot more to him but right now she couldn't see that. She was angry with him and herself for thinking and doing too much.

[aubracex]

Castor was silent as she shoved away from him, his hands going behind him to support himself and keep from rolling back into the grass. She was angry, he realized shortly, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about making her so. It was a legitimate worry. It seemed like so many people, especially here, where every boy and girl was ambitious and talented, would use other people to their advantage, whether it was merely to entertain themselves or to reach their future goals. Though Castor had been having fun with Pandorah – though he supposed it was quite a bit more fun for her to watch him stammer and blush – he had to be on his guard, just in case.

He pushed himself up as she continued to rant, taking in what she said as he dusted himself off. His robe had been tossed to the grass as she had pulled him down, and he glanced back at it, deeming it a lost cause for now. It had far too much grass in it to be clean before it had a proper wash. His attention turned back to Pandorah. She had backpedaled and it seemed that she might run from him. He didn’t want that, truly. He wanted her to stay with him and enjoy the rest of the warm, sunny day. He took a step toward her.

“Pandorah,” he said calmly, much more calmly than she was speaking. “I didn’t mean it as an affront against you, not at all.” Another step toward her. He felt like he was approaching a frightened animal, one that would run if he advanced too quickly. “I am merely being cautious. I do not think you are the kind of person who does that at all, much less on a daily basis.” He sighed, realizing that she really was offended and that he had perhaps made a grave mistake in accusing her of such a thing. He should have known that she wasn’t like that, though he couldn’t think of a reason she wasn’t. She was a highly intelligent girl, and everything he had seen from her today simply solidified in his mind that he wouldn’t be able to predict a single thing about her.

Her eyes were growing glassy, the stayed tears shining in the sun. Castor didn’t mention them. He felt Pandorah was too strong a girl to cry or admit that she was about to, and he wouldn’t be the one to tell her she wasn’t hiding them as well as she wanted to. Her next statement hurt him, this time, though he knew he deserved it. Would she really leave him? Would she truly forget him? He hoped not. He hoped these were just the words of an injured girl.

“Pandorah,” he said again, his tone weaker than before, pleading. “Please don’t leave. I want you to bother me. I want you to bother me for the rest of the day and more besides that.” He took a final step toward her, closing the gap, to where they had been comfortable before. He reached out and touched her wrist lightly, barely brushing it with his fingertips. He was still worried about frightening her away. “I would not have asked you on a date if I hadn’t intended to spend more time with you. My offer still stands. I just have to be careful, Pandorah. I do not wish to be hurt. I only worry about this because I like you very much. I enjoy your company. If it was someone else who was toying with me, I would not feel it so much. But because it’s you, and because I like you, it would hurt more than anything to find that you had little regard for my feelings.” He sighed, withdrawing his hand to run it through his hair.

“I’m sorry, I realize I didn’t have much concern for your feelings when I said that,” he murmured. “But now I know. I wish it hadn’t taken that for me to be sure of you.” He looked back to her, brown eyes meeting pale blue. “Forgive me.”

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

Common sense didn't seem to be one of her strong suits when emotions were involved. She knew she could become impassioned and over the top with some things but hadn't been sure how bad it would become or what potential it had until now. She was so much more than simply angry and she knew it. Pandorah could feel everything acutely and it was giving her one hell of a headache. Every time her moods shifted and she became what she liked to refer to as, extreme...her head would hurt. This was definitely an extreme and later when she might make some sense of it she would realize it reflected her feelings. The more out of control she got the more chance there was that she was liking and trusting a person. So in actuality the easier it was to be hurt by them and the more afraid she would be.

Her eyes were on him with an intensity she usually reserved for people she seriously disliked. Every movement he made was watched and cataloged. She didn't dislike him though, it was the exact opposite really and that was why she was so bothered by what he had said. Though really even she knew she was taking it too far but could not seem to stop. Once she got started on something like this it was far too hard to quit, like a runaway steamroller she would crush everything. As it was she honestly did feel like running. Her leg muscles tensed and the only thing that really stopped her was how foolish literally running away would be. How childish was she?

She watched him as he stepped closer but didn't do much except completely tense up her body. Why wasn't he laughing at her, or calling her a crazy bitch or something along those lines? Why was he coming closer to her? Suspicion showed plainly on her face and she glared at him even while he spoke to her. “You have every right to be cautious of course, as do I. I have never liked other people before so I have no idea how to react.” With that her anger left her. Her shoulders slumped and her body relaxed. Pandorah let out a large whoosh of air before flicking her hand that had the hair on it to try and be rid of the errant strands.

“Maybe there is something to the whispers I hear behind my back. Perhaps I really am crazy. I am so moody, beyond the normalcy for such a thing.” Now she really did have to admit there might be some type of truth to all these things. “I'm sorry that I am so touchy.”

It was dangerously easy for her to leave people behind, she had done it in the past. Not that she wanted to do this to him but if he thought badly of her then why bother right? Though he said he didn't mean to upset her and she did understand that there was still that inkling of hurt lingering in her heart. The tears that had threatened to fall slipped down her cheeks simply because there was too much there to hold back. Though because she had held on to her control so tightly those two tears were the only to fall forth and she flicked them away with her fingers and payed them no other attention beside that.

“You actually want me to bother you? I have gone from frigid to mad to flirty to mad to upset to mad. I cannot believe you do not have some sort of headache like I do." Her brows furrowed together as she looked him over like he was some type of alien. There was more there now then just the fact that he was fun, there was a depth to how she was seeing him and starting to feel for him. No one had stayed through one of her little freak outs before and not yelled at her or called her crazy. Certainly no one had told her they still wanted her around and seemed very earnest about it. She watched his hand run through his hair after he had touched her and reached for his other one. How did you let someone know you liked them beyond acting like a fool and just speaking? Both of her hands wrapped around his free one and she tugged him so that they were chest to chest.

“I don't exactly go out of my way to talk to anyone. I only like two people as it is. I don't plan on hurting you or playing with you. I will be honest so long as you are curious enough to ask.” This close to him again and things were different. Did it have to take his words and her freaking out like that for it to be this way? She wouldn't know but it had helped. Where there was a lack of physical passion there was now a great deal of it on her part at least. Touching him so closely her cheeks flushed, butterflies played about in her abdomen and even her breath came out in soft pants of anticipation. “You said what you had to. No one wants to be hurt there is nothing to forgive.” Now she kissed him, closing the gap slower than before. Her eyes slid shut and she let go of his hand only to lay her arms across his shoulders and intensify the kiss, pressing her body tightly against his.

She hoped to feel a spark there now, something beyond what happened before. If not she would be upset but keep it to herself. Pandorah knew she was feeling differently about him, or perhaps deeper would be a more accurate description.

[aubracex]

She really was a bundle of emotions. Where most people could categorize and compartmentalize their feelings or at least those they showed off to the rest of the world, it seemed Pandorah had the problem that each of her emotions was far too strong for her to control at any given moment. Castor saw them each fighting for purchase on the outside, even if Pandorah seemed the sort of girl to try her very hardest to hide them when they became too much. It actually worried Castor to think that she could be holding back in these tirades and yet he was still nearly overwhelmed by these outbursts.

He was worried, at first, when she still seemed angry. Fear gripped him even more tightly than before, the fear that he would lose a friend he had only just gained. He had been very much truthful with the statement that he wanted her around, wanted to be her friend. He didn’t know what else to say to her, though, not yet. He wanted to calm her down but had no earthly idea how to go about doing that.

Relief washed over him as she slumped, though he hid it as she spoke again. She was insecure about herself and her emotions. She obviously realized what was happening and how she was acting. At the very least she was aware. “I don’t believe you are crazy,” Castor said honestly. “I think I may just be giving you too much to think about.” Of course some of this was his fault. He was switching his emotions with her. He had been wrong to think that bursting out with sudden suspicion and accusation would sit well with anyone, much less this girl he had just met and who had already expressed that she was interested. “You are moody, yes, but so is everyone to a degree. Just as everyone has flaws, too.”

He couldn’t help the soft laugh that bubbled up at her next statement. Yes, she was very much confusing him and he supposed he would have a headache if he had a weaker mind and wasn’t so intent on sorting out everything she did and said so that he could understand it without becoming overwhelmed. “I can assure you, it’s building,” he said, laughing again. “But what is a headache? It’s not enough to stop me.” His eyes moved down to her hands as they grasped his. Was she so worried about his leaving that she needed to hold on? With both hands, no less. He followed her lead and stepped closer, his smile slowly falling, though he was not unhappy, not in the least. To know that she so rarely felt physical contact and yet wanted more from him warmed him. Their chests touched and he could feel her heart beating.

He had been half-expecting the kiss, but nevertheless it felt wonderful to once more feel her lips on his. He had honestly never felt so good about kissing. Yes, it was still a reassurance by him that he liked her enough for this contact to happen, but now he thought he felt something there as well. He didn’t want to stop kissing her, where normally he got a bit bored with the contact. He lifted a hand to touch her face tenderly, enjoying the feeling of her skin under his fingertips, and his now free hand rested on her hip momentarily before sliding around her waist. He had never been so quick to make such contacts with a girl before, but he felt that it was appropriate with this one. Still, it took a moment of hesitation before he took the risk of moving his lips against hers, an attempt to deepen the kiss, asking permission, as he saw it. He still didn’t want to scare her away.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

He was completely right. Everything that she felt, whether it be anger, sadness or even perhaps depression, was felt so completely that it totally consumed all of who she was. Unfortunately she flipped through the emotional dictionary like a speed reader at times and could feel so many different emotions and feelings in a day or even shorter and that was what was going on now. Being around someone that she liked was making her lose even more control over herself and frustrating her at the same time. If she didn't feel for him as she did then there wouldn't be this problem. Then again if she had no feelings toward him she definitely would not have been around him this long or probably able to smile as she had. Even the people who had become her friends she had some sort of feelings for, just not like this. This was reserved so far it seemed for two very different young men.

“Don't believe I am crazy? You are either very accepting or just as crazy as I am.” Though he did seem like an accepting person she wouldn't put it past the world to have him be a little off as well. There was just no way she could get along with a 'normal' and sane person for very long. At the very least he probably never would be able to understand her, but wasn't wishing that an awful thing? For someone to understand her they would have to be going through the same thing, or something similar. “Of course everyone has flaws, there is no such thing as perfection even if people strive for it all the time.” Now she wondered what flaws he had, what glaring errors lurked behind those calm eyes.

His comment about how his headache was building, she could tell it was a joke. Sure there was probably a bit of truth to it but honestly, she would be more surprised if there wasn't. It made her want to be closer to him, this honesty that he showcased. So long as he never sugar coated anything, was always honest like this she would want to be around him more and more. Pandorah was also honest, brutally so and it did not win her any friends and had pushed other people away. Just another of her unending charms.

There had been a tension in her body, a nervous build up from just wanting to kiss him again. It did not relax when she placed her lips to his only seemed to change shape and become some other feeling all together. She felt the spark she had been hoping for, the heat and tingling sensation that suffused her body when he began to kiss her back was exactly it. His mouth pressed even harder into hers and she gasped, parting her lips and making the sound against him without even realizing what she was doing. Yes she had been kissed before but it had not gotten this far with anything and her lack of experience showed. A very soft whimper came on the heels of the gasp and she could feel her cheeks redden even more so. What was that all about?!

Their chests pressed so close she could also feel his heart beating and also how her own chest felt like this. It was a nice if odd sensation and she found she liked it. Just as she had gasped her arms moved down, her fingers tracing over his spine through his clothing. It wasn't something she had done before either but it was just happening. In fact Pandorah was just letting things happen and just doing things without much thought at all. With their lips locked like this she found that thinking seemed trivial at best and just feeling was probably the best course of action. The thought came to her that it would be fun to grope his butt...even if slightly, yet she stopped herself for now.

Unbeknownst to them there were a few Gryffindor girls watching them. They had come upon the pair maybe five minutes prior and now were watching with fascination as they were locked so tightly together obviously experiencing a very passionate embrace. The trio of females were only second years so to them this was utterly fascinating.

[aubracex]

Castor, at least, was enjoying this without much thought. The only thing his mind was going over was how she felt against him, where his hands had made their ways to. He felt as if he had little control over it, though he managed to be mostly appropriate with his touches. He knew, at the very least, that they weren’t exactly to the groping stage in their friendship or whatever they now had. He doubted most friends just made out with each other, especially not when they had literally just met that morning and had just had something of a row.

As he kissed her, he came to the realization that one of his hands had slipped up her back, feeling every indentation beneath the sweater vest and the light shirt. He felt the line of her spine that split her back, her shoulder blades, her bra. His cheeks lit as he realized what that was and his hand moved back to her hips, drawing her closer. He needed to be more careful with her, he decided. She perhaps wasn’t dangerous, but he liked her very much and, as he had already expressed to her, he didn’t want to get hurt because of it.

He didn’t feel hesitation from her, but even her surprise at what he was doing told him she had less experience even in a kiss like this than he did. He made himself slow down for her sake, and finally pulled back with a final gentle kiss to her lips, a chaste one, before he rested his forehead against hers, just looking. She was a beautiful girl and he thought himself quite lucky to have just been kissing her, especially when he was competing with that Sirius Black character. He meant to say something to her, a reassurance or something of the like, but a little giggle interrupted him.

Three Gryffindor girls were standing off to the side of the path, clutching books to their chests, apparently about to run off to some class or another. They had their heads together as if they had been in conversation but in fact were now just staring at Castor and Pandorah, gleeful smiles on their faces. Castor sighed and straightened up a bit, moving to face the girls a bit more, though he kept an arm around Pandorah’s waist. “It’s rude to stare,” he said simply, making the girls giggle even more furiously. “Honestly, you act as if it’s the first time you’ve seen a pair snogging. Run along now, all of you.” He sounded like a teacher or the like, and even made a shooing motion with one hand to reinforce the words. One of the girls, probably the leader of their little trio, made several overly exaggerated kissing noises before they all trotted off, talking loudly of the scene they had just witnessed. The thought struck Castor that if those girls were gossipy the news that he had just been snogging Pandorah might get back to Black and he didn’t know what to expect with something like that. He sighed and shook his head before he turned his attention back to Pandorah. “Well, at the least, Gryffindors are excellent at ruining the mood,” he said with a sigh.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

When his hand had begun to trace up her back, much as she had been doing with him only the opposite direction, she could feel herself arching just slightly. It was like her body wanted to feel his hands more so and tried to reach out and get as much sensation as possible even through the vest and shirt. Then she felt his hesitation as he bumped over the back of her bra and nearly lost it but she was far too focused on what was directly in front of her to think about it too long. Besides he made her forget real fast about it when he pulled her closer, her own hands gripping at his waist in surprise.

The final kiss was a surprise and she began to reach once again for his lips, a bit intoxicated from their closeness and just how wildly her head was spinning from the last few moments. Pandorah soon realized that he was finished, they were done kissing for now and could not think of a way to recover from this and so did nothing as his forehead met hers. Slowly she opened her eyes just to meet his and had this overwhelming urge to duck her head and hide. The only time she was big on eye contact was when she was reprimanding someone. This was so incredibly intimate and she felt so vulnerable and open that she even had to tap a foot on the ground just to rid herself of the excess energy the urge brought on. As it was her cheeks, which were already flushed from desire from the intense kiss they had just shared flared hotter from embarrassment. Thankfully she was able to keep the contact, a point in both their favors really and lifted one hand to brush some of his hair off his forehead as it was tickling her.

That was when she heard the giggle and her entire body stiffened. The seemingly content yet excited look in her eyes shut down and she lost almost all of her color. It was yet another transformation and she did expect him to let go of her, to be upset at being caught. She was but not for the reason she thought he might be. No one needed to see her as she was except perhaps him. Pandorah was being very girlish and cute and even her breath had been soft whimpering pants for a brief moment there. None of what looked to be wrath that twisted her face was aimed at him.

To mirror Castor, providing a united front and because honestly she didn't want to be apart from him right not, she left an arm around his waist. Unlike him though her face was a mask, eyes flashing angrily and entire body stiff. The leggy Ravenclaw just let him handle this. For once she was thinking a bit ahead of herself and realized it wasn't entirely the girls' fault, they had been out in the open after all. Though as she continued to watch him and listen her anger once more left her and while the girls were running off she was stifling a giggle. “Oh if you could have just seen yourself!” She mimicked him with the shooing motion momentarily removing her arm before putting it back. “You would make a good teacher, if you were interested in that anyway.”

The thought that they might spread even more rumors didn't even enter her mind, in fact she didn't even worry about them again. Instead she pulled Castor back to facing her and tilted her head studying his face. “You know, this is the most forward I have ever been, or ever let anyone else be either. We have spoke a few times but not in great detail or length.” Her free hand lifted and she tugged on a lock of his hair playfully. “It seems we have good uh, chemistry yes.” Oh that had been hard to say and she flushed red once more. Leaning in quickly she mirrored his chaste kiss with a sweet one then totally let him go and took several steps back. “Is that a bad thing? Wanting to touch you as I have been, kiss you more? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of...dating someone? Going too fast or too far so soon?”

Pan clasped her hands, threading fingers together, behind her back and bounced back from heel to toe on her feet. “Because I do want to do more, feel more and I know that is an awful thing to be thinking like this! How do people control themselves when something like that feels so good?!” Her lower lip ended up in her mouth and she both sucked and nibbled on it with her frustration. She had to do something with all that energy. “Maybe we should part ways now, or find something to do that is rather physically active. Oh, you know you can take me out on a ride if you want. I will definitely be too preoccupied with flying to worry about anything else.”


Right now she wasn't sure it was safe to continue being with him but Merlin be damned if she wanted to be away from him at all.

[aubracex]

Castor smiled sheepishly as she teased him about his professor-esque ways. “Can’t say I’ve ever thought about it,” he said. He didn’t know how well he would do teaching here at Hogwarts. After all, he found himself somewhat boring, at least outwardly. He smiled at her, rubbing the back of his head. He suddenly wondered what Pandorah was interested in doing as a career.

He cleared his throat as she once more turned their conversation back to the topic of how close they were, and he sighed quietly. “I know it isn’t in your nature – it isn’t in mine either – but I do wish you would stop thinking so hard about all of this.” He looked away momentarily until she pulled at that lock of his hair and his attention was steered back to her. “We do have good chemistry, and I don’t see why you feel the need to second-guess that at every turn.” He left his hand to catch hers before she could get away. “If we like each other as we do, why shouldn’t we pursue it?” He couldn’t help his surprise at the next kiss, and followed her for more even as she stepped back. Merlin, she was frustrating. He certainly understood the compulsion to analyze everything. He did it himself, but she was talking about stepping out of her comfort zone, experiencing new things, making new friends, and more than friends. This was a step she needed to take, he thought, and hoped that he wouldn’t have to force it on her.

“I don’t believe there is a set of rules as far as dating is concerned,” Castor said, taking a step forward without thinking. Honestly, why did she keep moving back? “If you feel uncomfortable with anything that we are doing, though, that’s different. I’d like you to tell me…” He paused, his eyebrows dropping as he frowned. “Wait, does this mean that you do want to date me?” He felt like a right idiot for only realizing that now. He internalized what she had said and blushed faintly. She wanted more. She wanted to kiss him more, and touch him more, more than they already had, and he, at least, felt that they were going relatively quickly. To be honest, many girls he had dated had been in it for his looks, and he found that they gave him not a moment to breathe before they were on to the next thing. With them, he had certainly felt they were going too fast. But he hadn’t felt for them what he now felt for Pandorah.

He cleared his throat again, his eyes falling as he blinked a few times to clear his head and think of some logical sequence of words he could bumble out. “Well,” he began, knowing already that this would be a disaster of a sentence, “I suppose it takes practice. Self-control…” He stopped himself then, giving Pandorah an apologetic look. “I have no idea. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before you, Pandorah. This is as new to me as it is to you.” He ran his hand into his hair, pushing it away from his face, and rested his other hand on his hip. He didn’t want to part ways. He had meant what he said earlier about having her with him to bother him, to spend time with him. Anything, he thought, would be time well spent compared to parting ways for them both to run along and be bored without the other.

“I’ll do anything you wish,” he said quietly, hoping that she wouldn’t say that she really did wish to go their separate ways. After all, he had just been sitting in the library bored before she had come along to sweep him away. “There’s not a single thing that I can think of that I would rather do alone than with you.” It sounded about as cheesy as anything he had ever said, but it was truthful, at least.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

She almost blurted out what her big plans were for her life but at the last moment clammed up. Things were new and they were doing so much as it was already, her plans weren't common knowledge and sharing them with just anyone felt odd. If they got closer she may let him in. Tell him her dreams and hopes, wishes and the things that even made her sad. The kissing was special yes but people didn't get to know about her, the real her, the rest of her. She was scared of letting anyone in for real and had kept herself apart from others for so long that she honestly did not know how to go about opening up. As it was she was making a mess of things still with him and was so afraid she would scare him away yet could not stop what she was going even if she wanted to.

Freezing at his words she said nothing, did nothing. He was becoming bothered by her words, the things she was saying. It was how she felt but he still was upset that she said it at all. That hurt, her stomach felt like he had punched her but she didn't even flinch or anything. Pandorah knew she was overreacting and that it wasn't healthy. He was causing her to become so upset, and sad, then elated and happy. This headache was going to rival any she had before if this kept up. Everything he did she was taking to the extreme and she needed to stop it now. Actually being able to think about how ridiculous she was being helped and she calmed herself before she ever did anything out of the ordinary, or at least crazier then she had already been doing.

“I'm sorry Castor. I think hard about everything, analyze and over-analyze until I pick it all apart. Though usually I end up finding fault with everything that way, and move on.” It was something like a warning to him letting him know how often she made a mountain out of a molehill. “I second guess it because it frightens me. I didn't want to tell you that but perhaps it is better you know.” Any closeness scared her and she was always afraid of losing people as she often did. He confused her with his asking about pursuing it, she had pretty much told him yes. Was he so boggled by her behavior that he didn't understand what she meant?

Pan couldn't stop herself and laughed. “Silly Castor I am not uncomfortable with anything that has happened so far I am only worried about you feeling that way. Once I get something in my mind, or in my hands, I have a tendency to just...go with it and explore it completely.” Again she did that raising of one brow and shook her head at him. “Why yes, that does mean I want to date you. I definitely want to try and be more than just friends with you. Kissing you like this, like that...speaks volumes.” She felt elated, worried, stressed, content...too many conflicting emotions all at once and was oddly fascinated by it. Was this what it was like when you truly liked another person? Not just finding them attractive, though yes he definitely was that. Yet there were many pretty people around and she did not do this, or act this way around them. It held promise.

“I have a ridiculous amount of self control...and I don't even think I can bite down on this as often as I probably should.” Her face scrunched into a combination of an embarrassed grimace and an apologetic smile. “We are so confused!” Then it dissolved as she burst into laughter. “Neither of us has felt so strongly before and it is so very new. Imagine how intense it can be later on!”

His next words stopped her dead and for a moment her expression was quite wicked. “Anything?” Her lips split into a canary eating grin. “Do you know how tempting that is? You tell a girl, who is having a grand time kissing you and just being around you, that you will do anything she wishes? After my heart already are we?” Smirking she stepped so that she was pressed up against him once more. “You flatter me so. First you will do anything I wish and secondly you would not find anything alone as entertaining when with me. I have no idea what to think or say.” Pandorah tapped at her own lips them, one long finger rhythmically beating out some type of cadence only she was familiar with.

Suddenly she stopped and nodded. “Lets, well I don't know now. You have shocked me, upset me, excited me...what else is left?” Leaning in she placed her lips by one of his ears and spoke quietly but in a breathy tone. “What do you want to do Castor? Have anything in mind. I'm wide open right now and willing to do nearly anything as well.” She was teasing him, seeing what he would think or do just because if she did anything else she would have kissed him again. Pulling back she grinned. “We could still fly but I warn you I am horrible at it. We could race. Maybe winner gets something if we do?”