you seem nice {{ Pandorah }}

[aubracex]

Castor tried not to dwell too much on how nice it felt to hold Pandorah's hand, and to turn his head and see her face. She really was a very pretty girl, and it was a pleasant change not to have to look down at someone. Honestly he sometimes felt a bit intimidating when he had a smaller girl beside him. Pandorah seemed more on his level.

"Well, I can't tell you how uplifting it is to finally meet a loyal fan," he joked lightly as they walked. The hallways were mostly empty, but when they passed a window he could see several students enjoying the weather outside, just as he and Pandorah were about to. He was pleased that their earlier upset had passed. He hadn't wanted to start a fight with the prefect when they had just begun what he hoped would be a pleasant friendship.

He was also somewhat surprised to find her tugging him along, just as she had said she wanted him to lead the way. He chuckled and caught up with her with a couple trotted steps. "I'll enjoy your company," he said. "Normally I'm either alone or with the team walking down. And in a hurry, trying to get there in time for a game or practice." He laughed softly. "Have you ever flown, other than first year? Perhaps I could teach you a few things." He doubted he could get this girl on a broom, and even if he got that far, making a flying partner out of her would be a different story.

His eyes strayed to their connected hands and he shifted to lace their fingers instead. He was more comfortable that way, and hardly thought about the implications. "There is something that intrigues me about you," he said suddenly, vision jumping back to the hallways in front of them. They were almost out of the castle. "I can't figure out just what it is, but I would like to find out." He wasn't at all shy about telling people what interested or confused him about them. In fact, he liked to see their reactions.

[pandorah]

Somewhere it should be written that a formerly reclusive young woman, who valued books over people, and still seemed to most of the time, can actually slip out of that shell she holds dear and become a real person. Pandorah knew that if it wasn't written anywhere she most definitely would take care of that, her journal needed updating anyway. Elexrian, her twin, liked to refer to it as her diary to which she usually punched him in the arm or something. Diaries were for little girls with silly hopes and dreams and the needs and wants of boyfriends, husbands and later on lovers. She herself had never been that type. There was no denying her hopes and dreams but they were not silly, she wanted to be and do something with her life and was pretty sure that she would not allow anyone to stand in her way.

This had nothing to do with her future plans however and there was no need for her to begin to feel defensive or on edge. Her breath left her with a quiet exhalation and she rolled her eyes skyward at her own thoughts. Was it really that damned hard for her to just relax and try and enjoy herself without over thinking and over analyzing every damn thing? If she kept this up she would never have any other friends, probably lose the ones she had a tenuous hold on and there would be no chance in the nine hells that she would ever find something akin to a boyfriend. Once in awhile she admitted to herself that she was like every other girl her age and curious about things.

Turning her face to look at Castor she laughed, a genuine one too. “Oh yes a most loyal fan indeed. You play really well, I enjoy watching you.” She didn't say the team she meant him specifically. She did watch him, she watched them all, but this was just about him right now none of the other players mattered. Again she had that urge to twine her fingers in his hair just to see if the curls would wrap themselves about her fingers. He was very attractive and the more time she spent with him the more she noticed it. Not that she hadn't seen it before but this was an entirely new perspective.

“Oh. I know all about the alone part, I spend most of my time that way. I am only somewhat ashamed to admit that my social skills are severely lacking. So, if you would, please forgive me if I happen to put my foot in my mouth on more than one occasion.” Her pale cheeks gained a little bit of color and she ducked her head to look at something that was not him. Oddly enough she was feeling more like a girl than she had ever before. What was it with her lately, and why now, why him? There were no answers to those questions and she thought to ponder it later.

Pale blue eyes went wide and she affected a rather embarrassed little grin to his query. “I uh, once in awhile? I am honestly not a fan of it. I never saw the point of being in the air, consequently I dislike airplanes as well.” She didn't have a fear of heights, not that she knew but it was obvious to her, and probably to him that there was something there. “Teach me to what, shove a hard rod of wood between my thighs and grip it tightly while riding it?” Pandorah stopped them, running over what she had just said in her mind right before bursting out laughing. “Oh my that was, that sounded...” Nothing else really needed to be said and she gently slapped her forehead.

Just them Castor shifted their hands so that he could thread their fingers together and she immediately looked directly at him. Her gaze was curious, for while he thought nothing about it, it held a deeper meaning to her. Pandorah didn't just touch people, holding hands was one thing but holding them this was was rather intimate. Did he do that for a reason, was she reading something into it that wasn't there? Her head began to think and come up with far too many questions and complications over what was going on but was halted when he spoke to her once more. “I am intriguing huh? Maybe it's because I am a mystery? Most people like to figure mysteries out, and once they do they lose interest.” She was one of those, which is why she liked a person to just be up front, she tried to be when she was interested in someone or cared.

“You want to find out about me? You may not like what you see.” She tugged on his hand pulling him just a bit closer to her as the neared the exit out of the castle. “I will give you a freebie Castor. This,” she jerked on his arm to point out what she talking about, but not roughly, “can and will be seen as something more then just a friendly thing. You thread your fingers with mine and I will begin to believe you are interested in me as more then just a friend.” She relaxed her arm but did not let him go, preferring to see what he did and enjoying his touch at the same time. “I am very complicated, those that have gotten closer, just a little, have run away.” There was no inflection in her voice and she stepped outside with him immediately shading her pale eyes from the bright glare of the sun. “Be prepared, I have become something of a local celebrity lately. Everyone is all about making up rumors from everything I do.”

[aubracex]

Castor laughed aloud at her accidental joke, going as far as to throw his head back a bit, his blonde curls bouncing back off of his forehead for a moment as he tilted his head back. He was practically grinning as he looked back at Pandorah, who had a similar expression on her face. It was nice to see her smiling as widely as she was, even if it was over an accidentally perverted statement she herself had made.

"Miss Koenig, there are ways to make riding much more comfortable," he said. "A matter of finding the right broom for you, the right way to ride. There are plenty of girls who play quidditch and they are perfectly comfortable. Other than the occasional bludger to the head..."

His eyes met hers and he realized that she perhaps was not pleased with his admittedly forward action. He realized then that this was not only the more comfortable way to hold hands with someone, but the more intimate way. Was he insinuating something? How was she taking it? More questions ran through his mind and he considered switching back, but that would only insinuate more: that he wasn't interested in her, or that he was afraid. And he was not afraid.

"I don't lose interest in interesting people," he said simply. "Somehow, and I don't mean this to offend, I don't think you're a mystery that can be solved, Miss Koenig. You have too many layers to sift through and, the fact is, there are some things I simply would choose not to search through."

He did his best not to draw in a quick breath as she pulled him closer. He managed not to fall into her even as his hand was pulled up as if to make it easier for him to see what she was talking about. He knew, of course, his previous worries coming back as she voiced her perceptions aloud.

He let a pause rest between them when she finished speaking and they were once more striding toward the pitch. He ducked his head a bit as the sun struck his eyes, sensitive after the darker library. Once his eyes adjusted he decided he was ready to respond. "I won't say that I am not interested in you as more than a friend," he murmured. "But I didn't mean this as an implication of that. I am enjoying your company and this is....just comfortable for me." He sighed quietly, looking at her. "I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable. We don't have to hold hands if you don't want to." He didn't take his hand back, though, curious as to her response. "You know," he murmured, "I won't run away, unless you don't want me here anymore."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

He laughed at it. The perverted joke that had slipped from her lips on accident had not offended him at all. In fact it seemed like he found it rather hilarious. Watching him laugh she was struck with a sort of speechlessness, not just out of embarrassment from what she had said but because of how he looked. Pandorah really did like his hair, it looked so damned soft and touchable. It even bounced when he moved and she bit her lower lip the urge to touch it so strong that this was the only way to stop herself from giving in. He was just way too cute and not in that ruffling the hair of a young kid cute either. Castor was cute in the way that caught her attention and held it even with the smallest of things. That wasn't always good was it?

Now that her mind had slipped into that gutter she could not get out of it. His next words just had her grinning and she did not trust herself to say anything whatsoever. Making riding more comfortable...oh why was her mind not thinking of anything normal with that? Though he kept talking and her mood sobered a little. “Ahh, maybe if you can get me to trust you I might, and I mean might, let you take me flying.” She shivered at the thought but left it at that.

She laughed quietly again at what he said and shook her head. It was actually really flattering that he didn't think she was like most people, simple and easy. She herself liked to think she was more complex then the average individual, Merlin knew she was a hell of a lot smarter if not just massively unpredictable. “Layers huh? You are definitely an interesting person as well Castor.” That meant a lot coming from her but she wasn't sure he would understand that, at least not yet.

She blinked and blushed when he finally responded to her, nervous for a moment when he took longer then she thought was a good thing. Not that she was an expert on these types of things but she guessed at it, it was all she really could do. “Comfortable for you to intertwine your fingers with people? I think it would be interesting then to see you walk with another boy.” Though the tone started out criticizing she ended it with a laugh and a rather wide grin. “Then again who am I to judge. People like who they like.” Pandorah was open minded enough that she really didn't care who liked whom or loved or anything for that matter. Love knew no gender boundaries, it wasn't that type of emotion.

“It isn't just a level of discomfort Castor, and please will you call me Pandorah, or Pan or something besides my last name, it's so formal.” Her pale gaze, when she turned to look him straight in the face held a slight pleading look about it. She often used first names even when she didn't know a person, so she would love it if he began to actually use hers. “I like it, that is what makes it somewhat uncomfortable. This is only the second time I have experienced this and I really would hate to assume anything.” Her fingers tightened around his for a brief moment before she relaxed them once more.

The tall girl sucked her lower lip in and bit on it, a bit harder then she should have and even winced. “You won't run away? You don't even really know me. I could be this hideous monster on the inside. I am more than just a simple handful which is why I never bothered with friends, even my family has a hard time with me!” Her laughter this time was self deprecating and she gave him an apologetic smile. “Dammit, I'm sorry. See what I mean though? My emotions are so jumbled and a mess I can't even seem to just go off and have fun with a cute guy from my own house without acting like an idiot.”

[aubracex]

His expression as she suggested how he would act with another boy was nearly distraught as he tried to think of a way to explain his emotions and nuances to her. He didn't want to say anything in the wrong way, or in a way that would make her think he was an unsavory person. Her hand was soft, her fingers thin and somewhat strong, their heights similar, so that holding her hand was as easy and thoughtless as putting his hand in his pocket or around the handle of his wand. It wasn't a complicated concept, not to him, but he knew if he tried to explain it to her, it would come out wrong. He needed more time to think about how to say this, but he didn't have it.

"You're the one who took my hand first," he finally said. True, he had offered his, but more to help her up as a gentleman. She had been the one to hold on, after all. But he had been the one to change their hand positions. Still, he hadn't meant anything by it, he just didn't want his fingers to get all sweaty, and the positioning was slightly awkward...

He looked away, running his free hand into his hair to push it away from his face. It was a warm day and the Hogwarts uniforms weren't built for this strangely higher temperature. They were designed for normal Scottish autumns and snow, rain and clouds and the indoors of the school that received so little sunlight. He was tempted to remove his already open robe but still wasn't going to let go of her hand, even for that. He worried he wouldn't get it back.

"I usually attend to what others find comfortable," he said. "If I was with another boy and he wanted to hold my hand, I wouldn't mind. I'm just usually not so familiar with people, and I think I sometimes come off as a little cold." He sighed. "Perhaps just aloof. I've been told before that I act like I'm above most people." His eyes fixed on the quidditch pitch for a few moments, the towers that were, for now, stripped with the colors of all four houses. The headmaster would change them when a game was played but for now, they were decorated for everyone to practice and enjoy the environment.

"Pandorah," he repeated, another sigh following. "I'm not assuming anything," he assured her. "If you do like this, then that is all that matters. You and I can't decide on where we will go or what we will do in the future, if we will even meet again after today on friendly terms. I don't see why we can't just enjoy each other for now, and hold hands, and lace fingers, as if none of it mattered." He paused, sincerely wishing to plug himself up with his foot pushed firmly into his mouth. "Unless it matters to you, I mean." He was getting flustered with all of these warring thoughts in his head. He was trying so hard not to offend Pandorah and still get his point across and his ideas in the air that he was stumbling over everything he needed to say.

Finally, he took a calming breath and removed his hand from Pan's. He even stopped walking to turn and answer her, his hands moving in front of him as if he was trying to place a box of neatly organized words in front of her to see. "If you think your emotions are jumbled, you should look inside my head for a few moments to make yourself feel better." He smiled at her, and considered taking her hand again to comfort her, but for now he refrained. "I told you, I'm intrigued. As for what I will find out about you and how I will feel about you later, I don't know that yet. For now, we should go to the pitch and enjoy our time there before dinner."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

There was no doubt in her mind that she was right about Castor, he was definitely an interesting guy. Now, that was saying a lot from her and had a bunch of hidden meanings. Interesting was the word she used when there just was no other word to describe something, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes she didn't want to hurt a person's feelings and would use it to comment on a project if asked what she thought about it. That was not the only use of the word for her but it was one of them. When it came to the tall and attractive blonde Ravenclaw she was walking with, she meant it honestly and earnestly. Dull people were boring and she had no time for such trivialities.

Castor was smart, he wouldn't be a Ravenclaw if he wasn't she figured. She could see in his face that he weighed everything before speaking. It was a good practice but also a frustrating one for an impatient person like herself. Yes, Pandorah could be patient at times but for the most part she was not. Raised filthy rich and spoiled she expected a lot out of people and was easily prone to becoming annoyed and irritated. In fact, she had become fiercely independent because of how she was raised and often just soared past others ignoring them because she just assumed they were worthless and wouldn't know much.

Normally she would be mad at his words. In fact instead of being angry she was surprised at herself for how calm she was being. Yes she had grabbed his hand, but it had only been because he offered it. Maybe she was the one at fault for keeping hold longer then just to be helped up? Her brows drew together in a frown.

Unlike Castor, Pan was just in her regular uniform. She preferred the cold weathers, hailing from a chillier climate as she did, so the white button down shirt and vest were enough for her when walking around the castle. Once winter came she would probably need more but this would do for now. Now, if she actually ended up on a broom she may get a slight chill as when wearing a skirt, even if augmented by knee high socks, one was bound to catch a chill when in the air.

“Oh, what others find comfortable? I must confess, I usually don't give a damn about what others think or what bothers them. It takes a lot to get me to care at all about another person.” There was one of her fatal flaws, out in the open. “You have been told you act that way, though I do not see it myself. I know I act that way, and usually do not care. It keeps the riff raff away.” When she said that she meant the people only looking to make friends for superficial reasons, not actually interested in the other person.

She followed his gaze, looking out over the pitch herself. It would be fun if there was a game today, the weather was lovely for it. He finally used her name and she smiled, something small but genuine. However he did keep sighing and she frowned very quickly on the heels of the smile, almost like it hadn't been there at all. Then she seemed annoyed, a dark look passing through her eyes and she did not even bother to gaze upon him as he spoke. He removed his hand and it was a good thing as she was suddenly not comfortable with it and felt bothered by him. She was so socially awkward and so confused on how to do things and yet, and this she knew without a doubt, very impressionable when it came to boys, at least ones that she found interesting and attractive. Why was she even out here with him? This was a mistake, it was all a giant mistake and there was a flip flop in her abdomen before it felt like her stomach bottomed out on her.

If it was at all possible her skin tone went paler then before, all color leaving her cheeks and even some her lips. “I just told you it mattered to me. I told you that to me it meant something. My whole life I was without affectionate touch, I am starved for it. Words are meaningless. I'm sorry that I cannot be like you and just distance myself like that. If a boy holds my hand I want it to mean something. I'm sixteen years old, soon to be seventeen and my first kiss was with a boy I didn't even like at the time.” Her words were soft, quiet and tremulous. Peering up he could see that she was hurt, it was plain in her eyes but on her face was a mask. Why was she rambling so much? Again here she was ruining something that could be fun in her life. Why bother socializing, in the end all she did was kill it.

“You have fun. I should probably be studying anyway.” She swallowed heavily and felt suddenly like crying. It angered her but she didn't have the energy for such a thing. “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry Castor. I am a wreck, a mess and now I am assuming and mistaking and confusing and my head hurts.” She should have just said her apologies and left. When he said that part about maybe not even meeting again on friendly terms, it had hurt. She realized she liked him some, from meeting him in the common house and now. Sure it was too soon for anything but she didn't lump him in with everyone else nor did she just walk away instantly bored.

“I think I shall never, ever bother with relationships, only friendships. This is nothing as of yet and already I am this screwed up, I can only imagine how bad going out with a person would be!” It was meant as a joke but her laughter was forced and she shrugged. “I don't know if I should go with you and further muck up everything or just bow out none too gracefully.”

[aubracex]

Castor was, for once, startled by a reaction. He had never meant to cause Pandorah any hurt and yet as soon as his hand left hers he saw expression flash across her face before her complexion paled and he saw the hurt written plainly on her face, downcast as it was. Her tone was just as pained, quietly so, and that made it worse.

He was surprised by her sudden disclosure of this information. He felt that most girls, especially, kept these sorts of things hidden until they were at least an hour into a conversation, but here she was babbling about her first kiss and the affections she longed for. He didn't know how to respond to this, not in words, and ended up staring at her with a taken aback look as he tried to sort out something to say in his head.

Before he knew it she was saying something about leaving him to himself, and getting emotional about something he felt was nothing at all. He managed a small, almost strangled "No" that he had to force from his chest. It was feeling restricted as he realized she was on the verge of uncalled-for tears.

"Pandorah," he finally said, jumping in when he had a moment after she had expressed her concerns with dating officially. He himself wasn't sure about relationships; apparently he never gave girls what they called "me-time", which meant, as he understood, paying attention to said girl constantly and giving little to no attention to anyone or -thing else, lest he face the wrath and lectures. It all seemed more trouble than it was worth, which was why he didn't go chasing after relationships like the ones Pandorah was talking about.

He stepped a bit closer to her, reaching slightly out, though he didn't want to further push her away. "I would very much enjoy your company," he said. "Whether we go to the quidditch pitch or not. I would like you to be with me, wherever we decide to go. I didn't mean to offend you in any way." Again he stepped closer, and gently took her hand. "You're getting all flustered." He pressed a handkerchief into her hand and released her to use it. "Calm down. I don't want to make you cry on our first real meeting." He smiled. "It would hurt my reputation severely."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

She would have to note this down in her journal as quite possibly the most spectacularly screwed up day in her life. How she had managed to turn something so simple into something so complicated and confusing was just astounding. Pandorah knew she was a little different then other girls her age but this just took the cake. No wonder other boys seemed to steer clear of her. Then again when she was approached she usually shot them down so fast it made their heads spin. Before she didn't have time for foolish endeavors, now she was overly curious but cautious as well. There really wasn't a middle ground when it came to things like this was there?

Watching Castor's face she wished she could take it all back. The Ravenclaw girl was not the type to live with regrets and didn't even believe in them usually but her rambling mouth and babbling attitude right now were seriously hampering her life. So here she was, running at the mouth while in the presence of a boy. Not just any boy either but a fellow Ravenclaw, who was tall and blonde with nearly irresistible curls and quite lovely to look at. His barely heard no brought her attention fully back to him finally.

“Ahh, yes?” Her face flushed with embarrassment. The icy blue eyes she sported were wet but no tears fell down her cheeks. She was a proud young girl, and wouldn't let even her own confused emotions become a downfall. There were things to blame this on, hormones for sure and possibly even Sirius Black for starting her on thinking about boys more in depth. Next time she saw him perhaps she should just slap him upside the head. Not that anyone could knock sense into that boy but damn was this annoying.

One of her brows quirked at Castor when he reached out but she didn't move an inch. On her face it was obvious she was considering leaving. After having already screwed things up so bad why would he even want to be her friend or associate with her at all? She could just leave and wash her hands of the entire ordeal. Next time they spoke she would be cool of tone and the same as she was before, unapproachable. It was the best way to handle things like this, just forget about them and move on. Putting the past behind her was all too easy and she did it so much that sometimes she wondered if she was forgetting anything or anyone.

Honestly the only reason she was going to the pitch was because he mentioned it. The only times she was here was when there was a game. Not being a fan of flying there was no other reason. Oh she knew how, she just disliked it with a passion. Then he took her hand and she almost yanked it back violently. In fact it twitched hard, her fingers curling slightly, the nails touching his own hand before he gave her the handkerchief and let her go. Though she was not physically leaving she knew that she was retreating. The walls were coming back up, the mask slipped across her face. It was instinct when she felt hurt and that there was no way to fix something, just forget about it, it never mattered anyway. Now she looked every bit the ice princess she had been called before.

Peering at his handkerchief she blinked several times and dabbed at the droplets that formed from the moisture already there. “I sincerely apologize for that ridiculous outburst. I have no idea what came over me and it was a foolish thing indeed. Seeing things that are not there and wishful thinking are for fools.” Pandorah was not and would never be a fool. “I shall not cry, I am not that type of girl. Crying is useless and solves nothing, I just became wrought with too much emotion.” She then grabbed his hand and placed the fabric back in his palm and let go, her fingers were cooler to the touch almost like pulling back dropped everything, temperature and emotions.

“I didn't even know you had a reputation, then again I pay little attention to those things.” Pale hands smoothed over the front of her uniform, straightening out unseen wrinkles. “It is very flattering that you would like to spend time with me but Merlin forbid I see other things in that gesture then what are really there. It is obvious to me I am far too impressionable when it comes to boys that I have an attraction toward, which will only seem to lead to unwanted trouble.” Now she messed with her hair, flicking pieces back over her shoulder. “I am terribly sorry I wasted your time Castor. I am sure having a seemingly crazy girl lose her cool on you outside was not what you had in mind.” Suddenly she sat down right on the ground, not caring about her uniform or anything else. “This is tiring, I wear myself out. I wish I could maintain at least one self.” By that she was referring to the real one he had been seeing, the wild and confused one and the cold uncaring one...they were all parts of her, none were faked. Yet it was exhausting simply being herself at times.

[aubracex]

To say that Castor was surprised by her sudden turn around would be an understatement. He blinked and his eyes went somewhat wide. Her face had lost all emotion, it seemed, her voice had gone cold and what she was saying didn’t match how she had been acting only a moment before. He had felt the spasm of her hand, her nails digging into his hand before and had thought for a moment that she would hold on tightly, as afraid as he had been to lose that contact, but she didn’t hold on. Castor was frowning now as she dabbed at her eyes.

“Pandorah,” he murmured, his mind elsewhere as she pressed the handkerchief back into his palm. He didn’t even have the mind to take her hand as he wanted to. He hardly knew how to respond to her now, now that she had literally changed into a different person. “Crying – I – Pandorah.” He absently tucked his handkerchief back into his pocket. “There’s no reason to be ashamed of crying. I wouldn’t mind…” He ran his hand into his hair, obviously confused still. “Why are you – you’re blowing this out of proportion. I know that this matters very much for you, that you and I – I’m really at a loss for words, Miss Koenig.” Without thinking about he reverted back to the more formal version of her name. “The fact that you and I are attracted to each other is obviously bothering you. Or – maybe it’s the fact that you and I are not reacting to my actions in the same way. But –”

Now she was sitting on the ground. Honestly , her uniform was going to get dirty and wrinkled, after she had just smoothed everything out. He hesitated, then knelt, himself. “I realize that you are…warring with yourself, Pandorah. But you should not let it affect you like this. I don’t want you to leave me, not for now, and I don’t want you to be alone, either. I told you already that I wouldn’t run from you like others have, yes? I was not lying.”

He held out his hand for her. “I’m still intrigued, Pandorah.” She had just changed right before his eyes and he began to wonder if she had some kind of mental disorder or if it was just something that she did to try and separate herself from her emotions. “I want to know more, and as of yet I’m not willing to part from you before I find out more about you.” He chuckled quietly. “You’ve just added some layers to yourself that I want to dig through.

“As for how I act around you, I do not mean to insinuate anything other than that I am comfortable around you and want to be your friend. I am also interested in more, though – I must admit, I don’t know as much about relationships as you may think. Perhaps you will help me learn, if we decide to further our relationship. But we aren’t there yet, Pandorah. Will you give me a chance, or will you be the one that runs away?” He almost felt guilty for suggesting this, that she was a coward or that she would run. But if this was the way to get his way, then he would do it.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[pandorah]

If Castor was surprised at the way she suddenly shifted gears as she had then he hadn't seen anything yet. This was actually rather normal for her, to the people she let see her other facets that is. The only person who knew every single side of her personality, and got them all at once instead of in fragments like most other people did, was her twin. Castor was either lucky, or unlucky depending on how you saw it. Pandorah had stopped just being the icy cold princess that she normally was and tried to let other parts of her peek through. However, this was still fairly new to her and so she wasn't sure how to go about it, then suddenly became unsure and felt like retreating again. Inside she felt somewhat sorry for him, because if it was exhausting her he must be getting a headache!

Her name, it was said over and over by him and she had to admit that she liked it. His voice was soothing, calming. Not unlike music for the savage beast in all actuality. Then he suddenly switched back to her last name and her temper flared again. Thankfully she had a little more control at the moment so that there was a chance he wouldn't even know about it. Why did she have to go and muck things up like this? There was no reason for it and the more she tried to fix it the worse it got. Pan figured she might as well get a shovel now, and start digging. The way she was with boys seemed so atrocious. Why could she not be a femme fatale like Lily said she resembled? Maybe she could but that would take some time and her actually being attracted to more then just two people in that fashion.

“It is this way probably because I am reacting far too oddly even in my own mind and you see nothing odd about it. I do not understand how other girls do things like this all the time without a problem, or rather why is it a problem for me?” She was on her butt on the ground, not caring what happened to her uniform right then, and he knelt so she had to cant her head upward to peer back into his eyes. “Warring with myself is quite probably the understatement of the day.” The smirk that settled on her lips was only half there, like it took too much effort to even be sarcastic right now. “I want to believe you and I am sorry if this comes off as rude but I shall believe it when I see it.” Her words were not harsh this time and emotion flickered back to life in her eyes, color seeping slowly back to her face, or what color she normally had. Pan was a rather white girl as it was.

“I think it is unfair of me,” pale eyes gazed at his outstretched hand once more, “to be behaving this way around you. Maybe I am just unused to liking a boy at all, let alone two of them at the same time. It's confusing.” Now the smile was an embarrassed one and she ducked her head suddenly feeling shy. Pan could feel heat suffuse her cheeks and knew that she was blushing. It was so much safer, and easier, when she didn't like anyone at all.

His words had her blinking and looking back up at him, uncaring or just forgetting about the blush staining her cheeks. “Run away? I do not run away from anything, ever. I face everything head on.” Oh he had ignited a fire in her now and her eyes sparked to show this. Her full lips set themselves in a line and she not only grabbed his hand as he had offered it but pulled him closer to her, definitely showcasing her physical strength. With their faces close together she grinned and spoke. “You shall have your chance Castor. I do not need to warn you of anything now though since you have seen some of it already. Just be patient with me in all things. This year is the first time I have ever tried to make friends, and I have two so far. Most people cannot handle my personality.” No sadness this time, just a fact and she kissed his cheek before letting him go. The urge had been there to kiss something else but that was just too forward and she had become suddenly nervous about it right before she meant to do it.

She stood up then and peered down at him. “Lets forget about all this emotional silliness and go have some fun. I am in desperate need of a reason to laugh right about now.” Though she began to walk off it was backward and very slowly, waiting for him to get up and follow her. For a joke, and maybe to help herself feel some humor she stuck her hands out and put them up before making motions toward herself, crooking them back and forth. A sort of, 'come and get it' gesture.

[aubracex]

She certainly was a conundrum, Pandorah Koenig was. Her personality was as much as Castor could handle without warning, but each thing she did, though she thought they were somehow putting him off or pushing him away, made him want to know more. His curious mind was more interested now in finding out about her than before. He had to know what was going on in her head to make her act so strangely, to make her switch back and forth between these personas and what made her so nervous about her attraction to him. Or perhaps she was more worried about his attraction toward her. He hadn't before imagined that she would be so inexperienced with all of this. She was such a pretty girl, and yet he had gathered that she had never had a lasting relationship with someone of the opposite sex, most likely for the reason she was illustrating for him right now.

Just as he had issued her a challenge not to run away, she retaliated in kind to him. He accepted silently, a small smile coming to his face, more than she could muster at the moment. He wondered then if all of this change tired her out to the point that it was as difficult for her to deal with as it was for those around her.

"Two?" Castor repeated. He was rarely privy to rumors, partially because he didn't talk to those spreading them often, and otherwise because he found them rude and generally untrue. He had no idea what had gone on between Pandorah and Sirius -- in fact, he didn't know anything had gone on at all. His mind was selfishly only on the pair of them there, right then, and he felt himself surprisingly growing jealous that she would even mention liking another boy other than himself. He immediately felt guilty, after all, he had been telling her over and over again that, yes, he did like her as a friend and possibly more, but he wasn't prepared to pursue such a venture. The thought of someone else taking his place, though, made him consider it more seriously.

He had almost forgotten that he was to help her up until she grasped his hand and with surprising force pulled him closer. He went down on his second knee to avoid full-out falling on top of her, and found himself wide-eyed, his nose perhaps an inch or less from hers as she spoke. As usual it took a few moments for him to think of an accurate response and by the time that he did, she was standing on her own, stepping back and gesturing to him as if he was some kind of animal in need of a little guidance.

Despite the degradation he felt at such a thing, he found himself responding correctly. He got to his feet, dusting off his robes, and followed her. He considered taking her hand again, but knew that it would stir feelings and thoughts too complicated for the fun that Pandorah hoped to have now.

"Then perhaps we should avoid the quidditch pitch," he said, shrugging his robes off to hang them at the crook of his elbow. His height and thinness were even more apparent without the black cloak obscuring his figure. "Since I feel that would only be fun for me, seeing as you have such a strong aversion to flying. All you would do is watch me try and entertain you."

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[pandorah]

Pandorah really was used to people being put off or pushed away by her real personality. The mixed up jumble that she truly was. The girl could only hold so much inside before it had a tendency to bubble up and spill over, sometimes on those that least expected it, or deserved it. Her reputation as a cold icy bitch wasn't unfounded, she really was that way to most people. It was to specifically keep them away because she could not handle more people leaving her just because she was herself. Many times in the past, before she had ever come to Hogwarts, she had lost friends to the intensity that was her personality. That was why, when she knew she was coming here, she closed up shop and gave up. It was to be a renewal, a change.

Then suddenly this year she had decided to open up, to come out of her shell and maybe make friends. Kids her age must me more mature then they were so long ago, right? Pan knew that with only two years left before she graduated that it would be now or never really. All she had gotten for her efforts though was pain, trouble, rumors and a few friends. Friends were...alright. She had yet to see the real advantage of all this mess. Besides, there was always Elexrian if she needed someone to talk to. Her brother, though a Gryffindor and not always readily available, was the one person in the world who knew everything about her.

One brow quirked at Castor's question, she had figured he would know already about Sirius, or at least the rumors. “Yes, two. I thought everyone knew about me and what had happened with the other boy by now. I'm rather surprised that you do not.” Pan pursed her full lips and looked Castor over a moment but did not elaborate any further. He hadn't asked and she didn't think it was necessary to push the point. Though it was amusing to see his face shift just slightly, the little nuances that she could not understand since they did not know each other all that well yet.

Castor would have his work cut out for him if he planned on spending anytime with her. She was so moody and not only that but her thoughts and actions jumped around, sometimes randomly, from thing to thing. Like a bumblebee in a field of flowers, no real pattern.

“Oh you think so? I really do dislike flying...so high up, so little to hold you there. Perhaps it is cowardly but I do not fear it, not like I fear other things.” Watching him take of his robes she was struck by how slim he was and it intrigued her. He played Quidditch, didn't they get bulkier over the years? Honestly she couldn't say so she just watched him and had a small grin on her lips, my oh my was he attractive. Her cheeks pinked again and she frowned silently cursing herself for looking at him in such a way. If she didn't stop she was likely to blurt out other things and either complicate the issue further or freak him out.

“I don't think that watching a cute boy do things to entertain me is such a bad thing. It shows that he likes me, wouldn't you say?” There was one of them. One of those silly thing she just happened to blurt out. How did she go from liking no one to liking two very different guys? Was it hormones? She didn't know either of them all that well yet, but they were most definitely attractive. Though Pandorah was certain it wasn't just their looks she liked, there were many people who were fair of face and she didn't feel this way around them. “If not the Quidditch Pitch then where to?” She stopped then and walked back over to him, awfully close. “Right about now I could go anywhere with you and I think I would be entertained.”

Pandorah slapped her forehead with a hand and peered skyward with a roll of her eyes. “Tell me that wasn't the cheesiest thing you have ever heard just now. It seems I am speaking without thinking better of it, so embarrassing.” Looking back down at him she offered up an apologetic smile. “However, and this I mean, I did ponder kissing you a moment before when I had you close to me. I also thought that would just further confuse the both of us so I behaved.” At least this time she had consciously thought about her words and hadn't blurted something ridiculous out. “Ahh it is so warm, I love it. I should have worn shorter sleeves I am getting a bit hot.”

[aubracex]

"Well!" He was frowning now, his usually pleasant smile having fallen from his face in his confusing and jealously. "Who is the other boy? Is it someone I know?" He recognized, for once, that he was probably being rude by prodding like this but that never stopped him from pursuing the truth to sate his curiosity. But he supposed this was partially his business anyways. He was, after all, one of the boys she was talking about and she had been the one to bring it up.

He sighed and just shook his head, trying to convince himself that it didn't much matter that she was interested in another boy as well as himself. After all, she was with him now, wasn't she? And what was that saying -- if you fall in love with two people, pick the second, because if you were really in love with the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second. He highly doubted this was at all a matter of love for the two of them, but it reassured him that she was with him now and not with the first boy. It meant she was, perhaps, more interested in him.

"There's a difference between being afraid and disliking something," Castor agreed. "And I very much understand your dislike of flying. I dislike walking." He smiled a bit, noting her blush and smile, though both were replaced quickly by that little frown he preferred didn't settle on her face. He had never much worried about his figure as it pertained to quidditch. True, many beaters were bulkier, needing all the strength they could get to offset the flying bludgers and send them rocketing toward other players, but Castor, being a chaser, needed to be quick and agile rather than burly and strong. His position was the thinnest other than the seekers, who were almost always the smallest players on the team. "Pandorah...you're staring," he teased her, chuckling.

He paused to glance back at the school, a little blush coming to his own face. How could she say something to cavalierly? He would never admit it freely, but he knew he was fairly attractive, at least by the looks and giggles and compliments he got from some girls (and some boys). But to hear Pandorah, of all people, say something like that was somewhat embarrassing to him. Flattering, yes, but embarrassing. "I suppose we could go anywhere," he said, clearing his throat. She had continued to walk on without him, he realized, though now she was returning, and another somewhat embarrassing comment left her.

It seemed to have embarrassed both of them equally, and again Castor looked away. She was full of these sorts of things, he thought. "Kiss me?" he repeated, blinking a few times. He looked back at her. "Yes, well, you already know my thoughts on all this confusion already. Thought I must say I don't know how I would have taken a kiss as spontaneous as that." He had been kissed before, yes, but he thought he might actually enjoy it if it was Pandorah. His cheeks lit further as he realized what he was thinking.

"Warm," he managed to respond through his abashment. "Yes, it's quite warm. Lovely weather. The uniforms aren't fit for this kind of day." He smiled a bit, regaining his composure, and stepped closer to her to take one of her arms and roll her sleeve up. "You, at least, are in a skirt. I have to suffer pants." He gestured to his legs, encased in impeccably pressed slacks, uncomfortably dark in this sun and warmth. But a flight, he thought, would help that, with the wind flowing through his hair and clothes. Maybe that would be his selling point for Pandorah. Natural air conditioning.

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[pandorah]

To say that she was shocked would be an understatement. Why would Castor even be interested in who the other boy was? It didn't make much sense to her though the thought that he may be jealous crossed her mind she figured that was just silly. Didn't a person have to know someone for a very long time in order to feel jealousy? Pandorah wasn't entirely sure since she had never experienced such a thing, or rather she probably didn't know if she had or not. Smart though she was paying attention to her feelings and emotions was not her forte. “Oh, uh, you probably know him and I probably shouldn't be attracted to him in the first place. It was rather an accident...when he kissed me.” Her cheeks flushed and she made sure to keep her attention elsewhere and not to look at him “Sirius Black is the boy though since you asked.” She wasn't sure how he would act or react but he had asked and she had no reason not to tell him.

Though that feeling of trepidation left her completely when he teased her about staring and she scowled at him though it never reached her eyes. He was cheeky with pointing that out yet she didn't entirely mind. Briefly she wondered how slim of a waist he had and what it would feel like to wrap her arms around it, or his shoulders. Just because he was slender did not mean he wasn't strong, in fact considering he played Quidditch he probably had that silent strength which was a nice thought. Was this cruel of her, rude? To be thinking about two boys, liking them and wanting to at least kiss them if not more? No no she didn't want more that was just preposterous. Maybe she was just like her father, a player, but unlike him she wasn't aware of it until she had been woke up thanks to a certain someone. That was such a dreadful thought that she visibly shuddered. “I like what I see?” Focus on Castor, these thoughts were dangerous and she was moody enough as it was.

He kept blushing and it was one of the cutest things she had seen. She really wanted to kiss him now because he made her grin so widely. How badly would his cheeks darken if she were so bold as to do such a thing? It was too soon she needed to slow her mind down and just take things a little easily. Castor was her housemate, a fellow Ravenclaw and if they got along this good when they spent time together there was no reason why they couldn't hang out more often, become good friends. Pandorah knew she would see him fairly often, even if just in passing in the common room.

“I fear that, much like my moods, the entirety of me is spontaneous and unpredictable. Even I am unaware how I will react to things, a blessing and a curse to be sure.” Her lips were suddenly licked and she nibbled fetchingly on her lower one eyes lost in thought a moment. “You turn such pretty shades of pink Castor.” This was meant as a tease, not a jab, and made more obvious it's intention because she giggled rather girlishly afterward and twirled where she was. So her cheeks flushed then but she didn't want to acknowledge it. Pan was never a fan of being too girly but sometimes you honestly could not help it, especially when you were really enjoying yourself. “Yes though I had wanted to kiss you. You have a rather lovely mouth and I was wondering what it would feel like, taste like.” She couldn't go on with the teasing, her face was entirely too hot and she almost burst into laughter though a quick hand up against her mouth stopped that.

Castor came up to her then and she peered into his eyes a moment. His helping her with rolling up her sleeves had all the laughter gone from her and a sudden look of wonderment replacing it instead. Her eyes were wide and she felt like there was something stuck in her throat for when she swallowed it ached a moment. “Ahh, yes a uhm nice tank top perhaps would be lovely.” She stammered and winced at how terrible she sounded. There was a feeling of uncertainty, why was he doing this for her? It allowed him to touch her skin, something she took very good care of. Bathing often and then slathering on lotion while still damp she knew it was soft but it was also very white and with the sun the way it was she wondered how long till she was burnt. “Oh well maybe if you ask them for a skirt instead they would help you out.” Her lips split into a huge grin and she waggled her brows at him, it was a thought that had deserved to see the light of day.

“I like how your fingers feel.” Pandorah was never touched really though she was pretty enough she had heard time and time again, it was her personality that people called ugly. Slowly she drug her own fingertips across the back of his hand and stepped even closer to him just so she could breathe him in. What was she doing? This was madness yet she could not stop herself from going through it. “Castor, what prompted you to do this for me? You are very physically close and you even get to touch me. I am, for the moment, completely at your mercy.” Because she did not want to rip up her shirt that was for sure. It wasn't meant to sound seductive but her voice was lower pitched and husky anyway so it had that timbre to it.

[aubracex]

“Sirius Black?” Castor repeated, his face pulling a little disgusted expression. “I see.” He would be the type to kiss Pandorah, probably without a word to her before, either. Black had a serious reputation around the school for being a playboy and many people were under the impression that it would be a good thing to fall under his gaze. But it only meant to be one of many. In fact, Castor felt a bit of pity for Pandorah, to have been kissed by Black. Castor felt it meant that he was leading her along. He sighed quietly and glanced at her, embarrassed when she mentioned his blushing.

“Well, I can’t very well help it,” he murmured. “You’re affecting me with all you say and…do.” He cleared his throat, his cheeks darkening when she giggled. “Others down embarrass me so,” he said. “You’re so…brazen.” He didn’t mean it in a bad way, but his mind was muddled and he wasn’t able to think of a better term for how she was acting toward him. Every moment she changed, first she was embarrassed as he was and the next she was teasing him. “I’m not sure I could wear a skirt as well as you do,” he attempted to joke, nervous. He moved his hands to her other sleeve, only noticing that he was touching her when she mentioned it. He paused as he did, his fingers resting where they were grazing her pale skin.

He almost withdrew, but she seemed all right with their physical contact. He lowered his eyes to watch her hand’s progress across his own. He even shivered lightly, and moved to slip his fingertips down her arm as he withdrew. She was closer to him now, and she somehow wanted to pull her even closer. He was aching to kiss her just as she wanted to kiss him.

“I don’t realize that I’m doing anything,” he admitted. “I’m used to treating people just like this. I suppose you are used to being treated differently.” She was so close now, just as she had said. He hesitated just a moment, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. “And you’re very pretty,” he said as he pulled back, only enough to look her in the eye. “It would have surprised me if you had kissed me earlier. I never said I wouldn’t enjoy it, very much.”

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